A Family Visit
by cookiemonster01
Summary: When Mark has some childcare problems, Sam suddenly finds herself with company...and then General O'Neill decides to help. Season 8
1. An unexpected phone call

A/N: Sorry its been so long. I know i said i'd post another one soon but life happened. I actually have several half-written stories of which this is one. In fact this chapter has been sitting around for some time. I quite like it and wasn't sure where to go with it - its completely different from my first story, so i'm hoping for some feedback from you guys and you never know, maybe if you like it i'll write more. Let me know. Also its not beta'd so any mistakes/typos are mine.

Disclaimer: I promise i'll have them back by midnight.

* * *

"Sure Teal'c, blue is fine. You want me to call Daniel? …. Oh, ok. I'll see you later."

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter hung up her phone and put on some much needed coffee. After dressing in slacks and savouring a cup of rich caffine, she was literally walking out the door to her car when the phone started ringing. For a moment she paused – it was probably the base. No one else called her at this time in the morning, except sometimes one of the guys to discuss what uniform to wear. However, Teal'c had already called and she was heading straight to the base anyway. Then again, it was probably better to check. Sighing, she turned back round, pushed the front door closed and picked up the phone.

"Carter."

"Sam?"

"Mark! What are you doing up at this time?" Sam asked, astounded. It was early here and San Diego was a couple of hour behind Colorado!

"I need a favour."

"I've told you Mark, I'm not going out with that cop friend of yours! I have to get to work."

"No, Sam. Jane's father is ill. He's on his deathbed actually." Sam stopped. "Her sister called a couple of hours ago. Jane is flying up to Seattle as soon as possible. She's packing now."

"But don't you have that conference?"

"Yeah, I do. Its on all week starting today. I _have_ to be there Sam."

"What about friends?"

"Mke and Tina are on vacation, so are Paul and Rachael. Mrs Hutton is visiting her son in San Francisco and Jim and Barbara have enough trouble with the divorce, I can't expect either of them to take our two as well."

"Mark, don't ask me to do this. You know important my work is."

"Please, Sam! I wouldn't ask if there was anybody else but I'm already at the airport. My flight to New York takes off at 8:30. I've talked to the airline and they said they'd have someone meet them and accompany them on the flights."

"You've already booked their tickets haven't you!" Sam accused.

"Actually...they're already in the air."

"Fine, I'll um…talk to General O'Neill."

"They made him a General? Like Dad? **That guy**!"

"Mark, you've never even met him."

"Sorry. So you'll do it?"

"I'll take them, but you owe me Mark. _Big Time_!"

"I'll be there on Saturday to pick them up. You've saved my ass, Sam. Again." Sam just laughed. Mark had harboured dillusions as a child that as the older sibling, he'd be saving his younger sister from sticky situations for all time. He couldn't have been more wrong. "I love you Sam."

"I love you too, Mark. Say 'Hi' to Jane for me. Tell her to call me sometime."

"Sure thing. Bye Sam."

"Bye Mark."

Sam put down the phone and took a moment just to breathe. Then she picked up the phone to call O'Neill…and promptly put it back down. This conversation was probably best done in person. Abandoning any ideas of leaving immediately she left the front hall to wander round her house and see what she needed to do to get organised for her niece and nephew coming. By the time she got round the house to the kitchen, she realised there was a reason she'd never had Mark's family over. For a start there was the small kitchen, there was no driveway, the house was a open plan and although it was big enough for herself, and possibly another person, it was entirely unsuitable for two children, especially for a week. She was going to need help.

* * *

"Carter, I thought we were doing blue today." Jack teased, gesticulating towards her obvious lack of Air Force uniform. At least, last time he'd checked white denim jeans didn't conform but he'd have to check that one. A fleeting thought passed through his head that he wouldn't mind that being so if he got to see Samantha Carter looking like _that _everyday! 

"Yes, sir. We are, but I haven't had time to change. I need a few hours off."

"Carter, Siler's having a nervous breakdown and his friend can't find that ginormous wrench thing they're always wandering around with and Dad's probably about to land right on top of us caused we missed our last meeting all cause that stupid computer- what?" Jack stopped, suddenly concerned as he noticed how nervous his favourite Lieutenant-Colonel was acting.

"Sit down." Jack commanded, getting up to close the door. "Talk to me."

"Sir-"

"No 'sir'. I'm talking to you as a friend, now what's wrong?"

"Jane's father's ill."

"Jane?"

"Mark's wife."

"Oh…were you two…?"

"Hmm? No. I've only ever met the guy once. Its just that, well…Mark's supposed to be going to a conference this week its really important for him, but with Jane going up to Seattle there's no one to look after the kids."

"Ah. You need to go out to San Diego for the week." Jack misunderstood.

"No. Mark's booked them a flight, the airline's looking after them…their plane lands in a couple of hours."

"They're coming here? And then what?"

"Sir?"

"Carter last time I checked, your house was barely big enough for **you **nevermind two kids. There's no way _anyone_ can sleep on that sofa for a week - ah! Daniel told me! - and besides, what are you going to do with them? I can give you a couple of days, or even half days, but we need you here Colonel."

"I know sir, and to answer your question...I haven't worked out what I'm going to do with them - yet."

"Doesn't matter. We'll discuss it on the way."

"The way where, sir?"

"The a i r p o r t." Jack explained very slowly, as if he was talking to a foreigner.

"Don't you need to stay here and…" Sam tailed off; Jack raised an eyebrow, Teal'c-style. "Right, stupid question." Sam muttered, trying not to smile. With the gate closed to outward travel and all SGC teams onworld, there was little else to do but paperwork, and Jack O'Neill would use every excuse he could to get out of it. Jack stood and walked round the woman to open the door.

"DAVIS!" O'Neill yelled out into the grey beyond.

"I'll see you topside in ten, Carter." He said softly while waiting for the tech to arrive. Sam dragged an eye down his body and back up. Jack tried and failed not to smirk when he saw her checking him out, before he realised what she was getting at and looked down at his shiny military-issue boots. "Better make that twenty, sir." They were interrupted by Davis and Sam took the opportunity to make a quick escape. She managed to get round the corner before a smile split her face in two.

* * *

"So, airport?" Jack asked as they came to the bottom of the mountain.

"Yeah."

"Hey Carter, you had breakfast?"

"I had a cup of coffee before I left."

Jack checked his watched and spontaneously made a wrong turning, apparently deliberately.

"General."

"Colonel."

"What're we doing?"

"Getting breakfast." McDonald's should be open, just about." Sam opened her mouth to protest but got no further. "Ah! You're going to eat some breakfast, Carter. That's final." Sam sighed and sat back in her seat. Fifteen minutes later and they were sailing down the highway.

"Want some, sir?" Sam held out her bacon bagal.

"Nah. Had some pie when the mess opened."

"Sir, pie does not constitute a proper breakfast."

"And you know, while we're on the subject of food, we'll have to get some groceries on the way back."

"You're changing the subject, General."

"So?"

Sam sighed.

"Nevermind, sir."

Carter and O'Neill managed to negotiate the complexities of airport parking; navigate the airport and reach the right gate in record time, with minutes to spare. Neither of them wanted to start off on the wrong foot by not being there to meet them off the plane. They'd probably had a traumatic enough morning as it was. Both officers stood waiting anxiously for the flight to start to appear. When after several minutes it didn't, Jack could clearly see Sam was getting worried. After only a few minutes more though, the first few passengers started to trickle through. Standing slightly behind and to Sam's right, Jack reached out and placed a hand on Sam's back as a show of support. The unexpected contact made Sam stiffen. He had taken her by surprise – which in itself showed how distracted she was – but now knowing how close Jack was only served to make concentrating more difficult. She didn't dare look in his direction but instead tried to stay focused on the wide doorway ahead. With perfect timing, a stewardess appeared with a child at either side. As soon as the pair saw Sam, they rushed forward yelling:

"Aunt Sam!" and with a slight shove from the General she walked forward and bend down to meet them as they came flying towards her. While the Carter's had an emotional reunion, Jack took the time to study the group. Carter was, well, Carter – only she was smiling and seemed happy to see them. The kids seemed pleasant enough. The boy was obviously a young teenager and looked rather like his grandfather, Jacob Carter. The baggy clothes and hooded top indicated he was into rock music, probably just getting into the whole teenage rebellion thing. The girl was younger, still a girl, a Samantha Carter clone as far as he could see, except for a few features in the face which probably came from her mother's side. She was dressed in pink and white compared to her brother's dark jeans and sweater, apparently a real little princess.

The emotional reunion was over, Sam pulled out of the hugs and stood up.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet someone. This is General Jack O'Neill. He's my boss and a good friend so I expect you to be nice to him, ok?" The pair nodded and Sam continued. "General, meet my nephew Matthew Carter and my niece Rachael Carter." Jack waved and smiled.

"Hey guys. Call me Jack."

Matthew, as his father had taught him to do, stepped forwards and formally offered his hand.

"Its nice to meet you sir." Jack raised his eyebrows involuntarily, slightly shocked at the young teenager's formality. He took the kid's hand and shook it firmly.

"You too, Mr Carter." Matt smiled and moved towards the conveyer where the bags were starting to appear. He'd give it a bit more time before he decided whether to trust this man or not, although Aunt Sam apparently did and she was a pretty good judge. Rachael at this point still hadn't said anything but Matt could tell his sister didn't dislike the guy.

"So, Rachael. You looking forward to staying with Carter for a few days?" Jack said attempting to start a conversation.

"We're all Carters. You mean Aunt Sam."

"Yeah, I guess I do." Jack watched as the girl ran off to follow her aunt who had started to wander towards baggage reclaim. Sam turned round and smiled at him. Jack smiled back. Matt watched the exchange with interest.

When their bags emerged on the conveyer bed Rachael and Matt both waited impatiently for the bags to get round and then made to pull off their bags. Sam stepped in to get Rachael's and Jack stepped in to grab Matthew's. He didn't realise it was a lot heavier than it looked until he picked it up and his knee made a painful grinding sound causing Jack to drop the bag and reach for the nearest support – Sam's shoulder.

"Argh! What the hell's in that thing!" He exclaimed, balancing on one foot with a steadying hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Some stuff for a science project." Matt replied cryptically.

"Right." Jack muttered, not really caring. He nursed his knee for a moment until he thought it was safe for him to stand on it again.

"Sorry, sir." Matt mumbled, embarrassed. Jack stared threateningly at the boy.

"Its **Jack**."

"Jack" Matt amended.

"Good. Now…what's with the whole 'sir' thing anyway? Carter, tell your brother that his kids have been spending way too much time around their grandfather."

"We don't see our grandfather much." Rachael informed him, but Mark picked up another thing from Jack's comment.

"You know Grandpa Jacob?" Matt asked curiously.

"Sure - we work together sometimes."

"I thought Grandpa worked abroad." Rachael stated.

"He does, sweetheart." Sam informed her, but said no more.

Both bags now on the trolly due to the help of Carter and Matt, they started to make their way out to Jack's truck. Sam and Jack up front, with Matthew and Rachael walking behind.

"Matt." Rachael whispered so quietly to Jack and Sam were both able to hear her. "Jack knows grandpa. He's **_that_** Jack." Having heard his name, the man in question turned round to find two innocent faces smiling up at him.

"Carter, I swear they're up to something." He confided to her, loud enough for the pair behind them to hear. Sam just laughed and smiled. Jack frowned.

* * *

So, how old are you guys anyway?" 

The four of them were now in O'Neill's truck, Carter up front beside the General, her niece and nephew in the back.

"Nine!" Rachael replied enthusiastically.

"Thirteen." Matt said.

"Please tell me you guys like something other than science."

"I don't like science." Rachael informed them. "Science is boring."

"Hey! It is not!"

"Is too!"

"Guys!" Carter warned.

"Sorry Aunt Sam." They replied in unison.

"Better." Jack's cell chose that moment to ring. "O'Neill." He answered. The kids listened intently, as did Carter, but heard nothing of what was said on the other end.

"Sir?"

"We're needed on base." Jack rubbed a hand over his face.

"We could have Daniel meet them at home. I'm sure he wouldn't mind babysitting, General."

"No, its urgent. We'll have to drop them in a VIP room."

"Are you sure, sir?"

"No, but right now its all I've got."

* * *

AN: Ok, what do you think? (Be Honest!) Want more? Please let me know.

Constructive criticism, compliments, comments, opinions, useful tips, pointing out all my mistakes, potential plot ideas and anything else you can think of is very helpful and much appreciated.

Thankyou.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: OK, here's a short one to keep you guys going. I expect it will be a while after this til I get another one up because I have university exams starting in about a week. Thanks for everyone who pointed out the mistake I made in the original version of the 1st chapter. I changed it quickly, it was an editing mistake - i don't have a beta you see, but if anyone wants to volunteer it would be good to have someone who could point out all my mistakes _before_ i submit it. And just to clarify I haven't seen most of season 8 cause they show it here on sunday afternoons when i usually have a rugby game (its generally frowned upon to run off the pitch half-way through to watch a tv show). No, i'm not kidding. To avoid mistakes there will therefore be as few references as possible to actual episodes and probably the plot of this story will be not be consistent with what happens in season 8.

* * *

**VIP Suite, SGC**

"Sorry guys. I know it sort of sucks to be locked up in here but there's a tv and some games and the General says he'll have someone bring up his playstation for you." Sam informed them.

"Sweet!" Matt decided. He hoped the man had some shooting games – his Dad _never_ let him have shooting games. Rachael's mind however was on something entirely different.

"Aunt Sam, why were you and Jack flirting?"

"We weren't!" Sam threw back quickly, praying the guards at the door hadn't heard. "I have to go, I'll check in on you later." Sam closed the door, locking them inside the VIP room.

Matt thumped his sister on the arm.

"Ouch!"

"Serves you right. What'd you go and say that for?"

"Cause they were!" Rachael defended herself.

"Look, sis. We're inside a real, top-secret US military base here. This place probably doesn't even exist. It doesn't matter if all they do is count paperclips, those guys out there are real soldiers with real guns. I get the feeling that pissing people off is a bad idea. And 'people' includes Aunt Sam."

"Well you didn't need to yell." Rachael complained. She crossed her arms and stomped across to the other side of the room.

**

* * *

**

**  
The Briefing Room**

"So Colonel Jenson. Tell me what was so important you couldn't tell me over the phone."

"We have a visitor, General O'Neill." The man tried to explain to his Commanding Officer.

"I swear, Colonel, if you called me back to talk to Kinsey again I'll have you reassigned to cleaning his toilets with a toothbrush for the next twenty years."

"Sir," Carter interrupted, "Colonel Jenson has apologised for that several times over the past two months."

"Nothing wrong with a little grovelling, Carter."

Sam rolled her eyes.

"Actually, sir" Jenson informed his Commanding Officer, "Our visitor came from offworld."

"And this is urgent, how?" Jack asked, frustrated.

"Siler estimates that we won't be able to dial out for at least another 3 days. Something to do with chipboards and parts and then I sort of tuned him out."

"They're doing the best they can, General." Sam reassured them, "But realistically…we all know this is going to take some time to fix."

"Exactly who **did **come through the gate, Colonel Jenson?"

"Perhaps you'd better see for yourself, sir."

* * *

**  
Daniel Jackson's Lab**

"Good morning, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c's voice resounded around the anthropologist's modest sized laboratory.

"Morning Teal'c." Daniel mumbled back, not breaking eye contact with the book he was studying.

"I have brought coffee and doughnuts."

Daniel looked up.

"You have?"

"Indeed." Teal'c held them up to demonstrate.

"I guess this can wait a while." Daniel said, reaching for a cup of coffee. He took a large gulp then closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of the hot liquid in his throat. The noise of Teal'c not-so-subtly clearing his throat brought him back to reality. "So…uh…you seen Jack or Sam yet this morning?"

"Indeed I have not. They did not come into the officer's mess for breakfast this morning."

"Neither did we."

"No. However the cook has been working for several hours. Upon enquiry he informed me that he has seen neither officer today."

"That's weird. You don't think they…? Nah, forget it." Teal'c cocked an eyebrow.

"Whilst I am sympathetic to their situation, I do not believe Colonel Carter and General O'Neill would compromise their positions by engaging in such an activity, Daniel Jackson."

"You're right. It's probably something to do with that offworld activation a while back. You didn't happen to check it out, did you?"

"I did not. I was choosing doughnuts. I concluded that someone would endeavour to communicate with the members of SG-1 if our presence was required."

"Yeah." Daniel muttered. Woe betide anyone who came between Teal'c and his doughnuts.

* * *

AN: Just so that you know, having a story that people actually read is really quite scary! 


	3. VIP room

Author's Note: Sorry it's been a while since I updated, Its been crazy busy with uni exams but i only have one left and then i have a couple of days before the new semester starts so hopefully i'll get another one written then.

* * *

**VIP Room**

"Rach, gimmie a go!"

"Not yet!"

"But you're losing the race!"

"Stop being so mean Matt, or I'll tell Aunt Sam."

"Oh, I'm scared. Really." Matt stood up, resolutely."Fine play with the stupid playstation, I'm gonna get out my science stuff."

"Matt! You can't!"

"Sis, chill. I'm just gonna take out some stuff to work on, its not like I plan on blowing up the place or anything!"

* * *

**A Grey Nondescript Corridor not far from the Briefing Room**

Colonel Jenson had refused to say anything more, so now Lieutenant Colonel Carter and Brigadier General O'Neill were following him through the SGC to wherever it was the man was going. Suddenly as they came to a t-junction the sirens blared:

"Security to the VIP suite, containment unit to VIP suite."

"_For cryin' out loud! What **now**!"_

"Sir, Rachael and Matthew are the only ones in there."

"I swear Carter; if Matthew's blown up my playstation – I don't care if he's your nephew – I'm gonna kill him!"

"Actually sir, its probably something to do with his science stuff."

"You left that with him?"

"I thought we were in a hurry." Sam replied, apologetically.

"We were. Nevermind." Jack sighed heavily. "Go check it out, I'll um…I'll brief you on whatever this is later."

"Yes, sir." Jack stood still and watched Carter run off towards the lifts, letting melancholic thoughts swim about his head in a moment of self-indulgence.

"General, I have to protest, Colonel Carter-"

"Jenson, I don't wanna hear it."

* * *

When Carter left O'Neill she headed straight for the VIP suite to see what was going on. A million terrible thoughts bombarded her mind as she impatiently waited for the elevator to get to the right level. She did not expect it to stop and let Daniel and Teal'c on board who she soon found out were headed in the same direction. By the time they reached the scene the last of the fire was being quelled and her two troublesome charges stood out in the hall – Matthew looking sheepish and Rachael looking curiously smug.

"Lieutenant." She addressed the nearest guard. "Take these two down to the infirmary for me. I'll be down shortly." He nodded and led the pair away. Sam then entered the room with a very confused Daniel and Teal'c followed behind.

"Siler?" She asked cautiously.

"Its all out now ma'am, just some residual smoke. The desk took the worst hit; it was ruined by the explosion."

"Uh…explosion?" Daniel asked, not really wanting to know.

"Yes, Doctor Jackson. The bed and the walls are a bit charred, there's a few holes in the walls and floor from flying and burning debris and I'm afraid the General's playstation was near the desk so its pretty much a lost cause."

"Maybe it would be best if we didn't break that news to him just yet." Daniel muttered to no one in particular.

"Probably." Sam agreed. Teal'c said nothing.

"Thank you Siler." Carter started toward the exit, Daniel and Teal'c followed her out the door and round the corner. Apparently she seemed to be intent on heading back to the lifts but the guys were looking for answers and she found herself being stopped abruptly by, of all people, Teal'c.

"I do not understand what has occurred here Colonel Carter."

Sam sighed. She supposed they had to find out sooner or later, and right now was as good a time as any.

"Mark called me this morning…"

* * *

"Jacob, tell me I'm hallucinating here. I thought you were off on some deadly, secret mission we weren't supposed to know about."

"I was, but my cover was blown. I'm here to hide out."

"I'm seeing a bit of a flaw in your plan, Jake."

"Yeah?" O'Neill could swear the man was almost smiling. Jack had the uncomfortable feeling that he was setting himself up here and suddenly had immense sympathy for Carter having to grow up with this guy.

"Usually when one hides out, one attempts to actually hide – you know, laying low, camouflage, all that stuff."

"What's your point Jack?"

"Coming to Earth's not exactly subtle now, is it?"

"Exactly."

"Come again?"

"Its too obvious; I'd have to be stupid to come here to lay low. You don't go to your daughter's planet when you're on the run."

"When you say on the run…"

"I can't risk exposing the Tok'ra home world and lately they seem to know most of our 'safe' worlds which we use to hide out on."

"A few spies in the ranks?"

"We don't know, possibly. Besides, you have fairly decent gate defences – there's nothing to worry about. Selmak and I just need to lay low for a few days. A bed and a few hot meals. If anyone asks – on or off world – we're not here."

"But you're staying for a few days."

"A couple at least, maybe til the weekend."

"Well at least that'll give us time to fix the gate." Jack mused, to nobody in particular.

"The gate's broken?"

"Well technically it's the dialling computer that's fried. Something to do with chipboards and…well to be honest I sorta tuned out around there."

"Where's Sam?"

"Right now? Upstairs doing something sciencey. I'll go see if she can come down. Colonel Jenson, you can stay here and practice being invisible."

"Yes, sir."

Jack left and headed for the elevators. How Jenson had ever gotten to the rank of Colonel was entirely beyond him. Then again, the same could probably be said of his own career.

* * *

"…And you left that stuff with him?" Daniel asked patronisingly.

"It was stupid, I know. But we were in a hurry."

"Colonel Carter, do you believe your nephew committed this act on purpose?"

"No Teal'c. Matt likes to mess around with stuff, but he's not stupid. It was probably an accident – look, I'd better get down to the infirmary, have a word with them once they've been checked out."

"In that case we'll…"

"Perhaps we should divert O'Neill's attention to other matters for the time being."

Daniel and Sam turned to where Teal'c was looking down one of the halls and saw 'the man' walking towards them.

"Thanks guys, I'll see you later." Sam ran off along a perpendicular tunnel. She could answer her CO's inevitable questions later. Teal'c and Daniel meanwhile approached Jack, stopping him before he could reach the corner and see round to the VIP room.

"Hey fellas. I was just coming to see what's up."

"Electrical fault." Daniel lied. "Its under control."

"Maybe I should just-" Siler's disembodied head suddenly appeared round the corner.

"Everything's under control sir, but we'd prefer all unnecessary personnel to keep away just in case." The head disappeared.

"Carter?" He asked his team mates.

"Colonel Carter is now in the infirmary with her niece and nephew."

"But how did you guys-?"

"Sam told us, we offered to help if she needed us."

"I'm sure she appreciates that guys, but keep it low. As far as the pentagon or anyone else knows they're not even on base."

"Oh, ok." Jack turned away, back the way he came.

"Jack!" He turned round. "That gate activation a while back?"

"Just a Tok'ra checking in."

"Does this concern our rendezvous with them?" Teal'c enquired, his voice resonating town the tunnelled passageway.

"Something like that." Jack smiled. "I'll see you at lunch!" And with a quick wave he was gone.

'Right' Jack thought as he stepped into the lift. 'Time for a quick visit to the infirmary.'


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks for reading guys. And I see that folks _are_ reading it which is nice but it would be helpful for me if you could review and give me any constuctive criticism or even story ideas - where you would like to see it go, that sort of thing. I sort of do know where i'm going with this, the problem is i'm just not sure how to get there!

* * *

**The Elevator**

Lieutenant Thomas was surprised, he admitted to himself, to be firstly guarding then saving then babysitting none other than Major Carter's niece and nephew. Had he known this in advance, he might have had second thoughts about coming into work today. He'd prefer aliens over these two any day!

"Hey, Mr Guard? Thanks for letting us out." Rachael said, looking up at him. Thomas nodded in acknowledgement. There was little else he _could _do after hearing that bang - despite Colonel Carter's orders not to let them out. Rachael went back to looking at the elevator doors. His charges said nothing more, but stayed silent until they reached the infirmary. Doctor Fraser seemed to be waiting for them.

**The Infirmary**

"Hello, I'm Doctor Fraser. I presume you two are Matthew and Rachael?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Good. Matthew you can takes this first bed, Rachael you can take the next one along."

"Why?" Matt asked.

"Well, after an incident such as this its standard procedure to check over anyone within the vicinity. Lieutenant?"

"I was outside the door ma'am, I only went inside after."

"Yes, well I'd better check your lungs for smoke just in case. Take a bed."

"She has got to be kidding about this!" Rachael whispered to Matt.

"No, I'm not young lady. It won't take long but if you prefer I can wait for Colonel Carter to arrive."

"Lets just get this over with." Matt complained.

"In that case, Matthew Carter, you just volunteered to be first."

Janet Fraser drew the curtain around his bed. After a short time all three had been checked over and apart from a small cut on Rachael's arm, they were all ok. The exams complete, Thomas moved to stand by the door while Rachael and Matt each sat on their bed. Soon Sam arrived.

"Janet?" She asked anxiously, eyeing the troublesome youngsters.

"They're fine. Rachael got her first stitch, Matt was unharmed."

"Look Aunt Sam!" Rachael held up her arm, grinning proudly.

"She's going to need a new sweater." Janet handed over the garment with its torn and bloody arm.

"Thanks Janet."

Taking this as their cue the two jumped off their beds, eager to get on their way – wherever that was.

"Uh, no. You two can stay right where you are."

"Well it was all Matt's fault anyway AND he was being mean while I was playing on the playstation."

"Care to explain yourself?" Sam addressed Matt who was, she admitted, looking decidedly apologetic. Then again, there was nothing wrong with wringing him out a bit. Lieutenant Thomas stood by the door, looking on with amusement.

"Sorry Aunt Sam. It really _was _an accident. A capacitor overloaded and the small blast bust a couple of sealed text tubes sitting next to it, and burnt some wires which landed in the puddle and set of a…moderate…exothermic reaction – which sort of caused the television to catch fire as well…and a few other things." He trailed off.

"Told you so!"

" Rachael Carter, you can stop that right now!"

"Sorry."

"Better. And Matthew, how many times do you have to be told only to get out your science equipment in a lab or basement? And even then only when there's someone there to supervise you. I know you're not a kid anymore, but that's not exactly a kid's science kit you're playing around with!"

"Sorry Aunt Sam. It won't happen again." Sam looked at him, and he did appear to be feeling bad about what happened. "And, um…sorry about the playstation."

"What about the playstation?" A new voice asked, a voice that Samantha Carter loved to hear at anytime – except now.

"I'm afraid it didn't survive the explosion, sir." Matt quietly admitted, his cheeks turning an interesting shade of red in guilt and embarrassment at both being responsible and being caught.

"You broke it?" Jack asked. Matt grimaced. Jack turned to Sam next and complained, "He broke my_ playstation_!" Sam raised an eyebrow cynically. "Its my **playstation!**" Sam rolled her eyes and seeing that he was getting no sympathy about it decided to sort out the matter for himself. He advanced on Matt threateningly.

"I'm sorry!"

Jack advanced further.

"How sorry?"

"_Really _sorry." Matt grovelled, knowing he was in trouble. He had grown to like this guy over the short time since they'd met, but Matt found it impossible to read Jack's face and simply couldn't tell what he was about to be subjected to.

"Nope, not sorry enough." Matt took a step back, but too late. Thomas, Carter and Rachael watched from the sidelines as Jack attacked, Carter sure that her CO was about to launch an unrelenting tickling attack on her nephew. She did not expect Jack to pick Matt up and sling the struggling boy across his shoulders like a wounded soldier. Rachael, who seemed to find all of this terribly amusing, started to giggle.

"Ok, I'll show you all the cheats I know!" Jack ignored him, gripped the limbs he held tighter and walked out of the infirmary with Carter, Rachael and Lieutenant Thomas trailing behind. Jack kept walking till he got to the end of the hall and stopped in front of the elevators. Jack motioned towards the door with his head. Sam rolled her eyes but complied, swiping her card to call for the elevator.

"Mr Jack, Can you put me down now?"

"Uh, let me think about this a moment…no."

"Sir, what're you going to do with him?"

"I don't know Carter, but I'll think of something." Jack grinned sexily to reassure her that it was all in good humour. Sam blushed under his gaze and tried not to smile, but could not bring herself to tear her eyes away from his. With perfectly ruinous timing the doors in front of them sprang open to reveal Daniel and Teal'c.

"Um…hi." They whipped round guiltily upon hearing their favourite archaeologist – subtle as ever, Sam noted.

"Daniel, Teal'c." Jack nodded politely to each of them while Sam studied her shoes.

"Jack – just out of curiosity – why are you carrying someone like that?"

"Perhaps he is injured."

"He's going **away** from the infirmary, Teal'c!"

"I have long since ceased to attempt any comprehension of O'Neill's actions."

"Its not just someone." Rachael informed them with a grin. "Its _Matt_. General Jack is mad cause Matt broke his playstation."

"Thanks for your support, sis (!)" A disembodied voice called from behind Jack.

"Well folks, things to do, places to go." Teal'c, getting the hint, stepped aside to allow his friend into the elevator. "Thanks buddy."

Jack stepped forward into the lift, with Rachael, Sam and Lieutenant Thomas squeezing in behind.

"Hey, don't mind me!" Matt complained as he got squished against the back of the lift when Lieutenant Thomas insisted on coming too. After all, the officer decided, he _was _supposed to be watching Matthew and Rachael. The prospect of seeing how this played out was just too good to miss.

* * *

AN: ok, so not very long but i think its better to get chapters out regularly-ish than make everyone wait til i write a really long chapter.

And like i said before - reviews are much appreciated (hint, hint). my writing does not depend on reviews, i just enjoy writing, but i get sort of nervous when nobody does cause i don't know if its good or bad. (Tell me if its no good - i can only make it better if you're honest about it!)


	5. commissary

_A/N: I'm very, very sorry that i've been gone for a couple of weeks. Its not fair to you guys but i got caught up with uni and rugby and a whole lot of stuff but i'm back now and although this is short i have the next chapter in my head so its just about getting time to write it - hopefully within a few days or a week._

* * *

Everyone looked up with interest to see which floor Jack had sent the elevator to. When it stopped everyone followed as Jack led them to..

"The commissary, Jack?"

"It is indeed time for our mid-day meal."

"Sir, perhaps you should put Matt down now."

"I'm sorry, Carter. You're right…T wanna help?"

"Indeed." The large man picked the boy off O'Neill and effortlessly slung him across his own shoulder in a fireman's lift.

"I don't think that's quite what she had in mind." Matt complained.

"Hey, you should be grovelling here, kiddo."

"I'm sorry! How many more times do I have to say it?"

"Always once more, knowing Jack." Daniel supplied.

"Yes, well…shall we?" Jack held the door open and the troupe entered, followed by a roomful of stares. Teal'c dropped his charge in a chair by the wall and sat next to him, preventing him from going anywhere. O'Neill, he noticed, had disappeared into the kitchen and Daniel Jackson, Colonel Carter, Lieutenant Thomas and Rachael Carter were getting food. Thomas went to talk to some guard friends, Colonel Carter and Rachael sat at the table across the aisle from Teal'c and Matt. Daniel sat beside them.

Sam, for the most part, went along with what was happening. She wondered what her brother would think of all this and smiled. Mark was so serious sometimes – part of the Carter disposition, and seemed to have passed that onto his kids. A little O'Neill humour would do them no harm. Just then, Jack emerged from the kitchen with a plate in one hand and his own tray in the other. He put the plate down in front of Matt, and indicated to Teal'c that he should now go and get his own food. Rachael Carter, Teal'c noted, was _still _giggling and he smiled inwardly.

Matthew Carter looked down at the plate of green suspiciously, then up at the General sitting eating next to him. "What is this?"

Jack paused with his fork halfway to his mouth – this mashed potato was _good!_

"Cabbage. Raw cabbage."

"Oh, no! That stuff's way gross!"

"Apparently the rest of the base thought so too, which is why we'll have plenty more for you tomorrow." Jack continued eating, oblivious to the stares the young teen was throwing towards him. Teal'c came and sat down opposite Matt, directing a few stares of his own at the boy.

"Can you stop doing that please?" Teal'c didn't blink an eye. He tried again, "Aunt Sam?"

"Sorry Matt, you **did** break General O'Neill's playstation." Matthew sighed and looked longingly down at Teal'c plateful of tasty food and the two desserts sitting on Jack's tray just waiting to be eaten.

"Well?" Jack asked him. Matt looked up at Teal'c again and the still unblinking stare finally broke him. The teen sighed in resignation, picked up his fork and stabbed piece of crinkly green leaf. Reluctantly he put it in his mouth and Jack watched in satisfaction as Matt screwed up his eyes at the taste the swallowed quickly. Everyone watching – the entire commissary in fact, could see he was about to give up.

"Don't forget Matt, I _do_ know your Grandpa Jacob."

"You really are **that **Jack, aren't you?"

"The one and only!" He declared, grinning proudly at Sam who merely rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders apologetically at her nephew. As Matt, with difficulty, commenced eating, Jack smiled and put another forkful of mashed potatoes and gravy in his mouth. Revenge was definitely a dish best served cold.

* * *

_Yes its slightly weird but i'm trying to be original here!_

_I know you guys want more_ _Sam-Jack stuff and you want Jacob to meet the kids so before you all go yelling at me, i promise its coming up soon._


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: The last one was a bit short so here's another, and i'm obviously on a roll cause the next one is almost written and as requested there's lots of sam-jack in it for all the shippers._

* * *

**"Colonel Carter to the control room, Colonel Carter to the control room."**

Sam looked over to Matt who was still nibbling away the watchful gaze of Teal'c.

"Colonel Carter, perhaps I should watch over Matthew and Rachael Carter this afternoon."

"Thankyou, Teal'c."

"But Aunt Sam, he's scary!" Rachael whispered none-too-quietly.

"Don't worry, he's a teddy bear." Jack reassured her. Rachael still looked sceptical, but did not reply. Instead she looked across the table at the man with the glasses who was smiling kindly at her. "Only if he comes too!"

"Daniel?" Sam asked.

"Uh…ok." Daniel agreed, confusedly.

"Looks like you got yourself an admirer, Space Monkey."

"Thanks guys." Sam stood up. "I'll check in as soon as I can." Sam then exited the commissary heading towards the elevators. Jack sat for several seconds staring at his half-finished dessert before he appeared to come to a decision. He jumped up and ran out the door, yelling after her:

"Hey Carter, wait up!"

* * *

Sam was standing in the elevator waiting for the doors to close when her CO came hurtling round the corner,

"Hey Carter, wait up!"

She hit the 'hold' button and wondered what this was about. It had to be something important to drag him away from his dessert. He smiled in gratitude as he entered and as he turned to press the '28' button on the wall, Sam allowed a fleeting thought to pass through her mind of what she'd _really _like for dessert. They both watched the doors close and as soon as they were alone he announced,

"Dad's here."

_**"What!"**_ Sam whipped around to face him.

"Our visitor." O'Neill explained. He's hiding out from some Goa'uld who seems to have found out all their foxhole planets."

"Why didn't you tell me?Sir, I'm gonna be stuck under a desk staring at wires for the next four hours. Is he alright?"

"Seems to be." Jack glanced over at her. Sam, feeling his gaze, glanced back. She could see his care and concern for her in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Jack whispered sincerely, and Sam could tell that he was talking about more than simply not telling her about Dad – he was talking about everything – their situation, not being able to support her as he'd like, for not being allowed to love her.

Sam sighed and looked away, blinking away unwelcome tears at the emotion she had seen in his eyes.

"Me too."

They stood side by side for some time, watching the numbers change.

"Go see Dad." Sam looked over and saw him staring at the floor, hands in pockets. He rocked back on his heels and then forwards again. "I'll go see what's up. They can wait ten minutes longer, right?"

"Actually sir–"

"Ah!" He held up a finger "I can make it an order." Sam snorted and smirked at the floor. He would too, knowing the General. She could tell without looking that he was smiling at having cheered her up, which made her smile more. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Jack stepped out onto level 28 and turned around to face her. "Go see Dad." He smiled affectionately, "I'll stall the geeks."

"Thankyou, sir." Samsmiled appreciativelyas the doors closed. Dad was here _and _Matt and Rachael. The question was – why? And how did she explain the other's presence to each of them? God, it was only Monday! If the rest of the week was going to be like this, going offworld was beginning to seem like a holiday in comparison. So much for a quiet week of computer repairs.

* * *

Jacob sat in his room, thinking when he was interrupted by knock at the door. A short time ago a guard had brought in a tray of food for him which he'd eaten then sent away. He was curious to know what this new interruption could be and so he opened the door...to find Sam standing there. He could tell from her body language that she wanted answers and planned on getting them. Silently she came in and closed the door.

"I thought you were busy with computer repairs."

"I was."

"You know Sam, it's rather unnerving to know that we can't dial out."

"So, this is my fault now?"

"I didn't say that!" Jacob paused. "Bad day?"

"You have no idea."

"I don't?"

"Nevermind. What happened? Why are you here? Why now?"

"I was under cover keeping tabs on a minor goa'uld. My cover was blown. I managed to make my way to an unoccupied 'safe' world only to discover a couple of jaffa running towards the gate. I killed them and dialled out to another 'safe' world and the same thing happened again. The tok'ra don't particularly like the Tau'ri right now but I had little choice – coming here was firstly the last place they'd look and secondly the only place I knew wouldn't be overrun with jaffa. How they knew about those planets, I have no idea. The council will want to hear about this but with no way to communicate it to them, I guess I'll have to hang around for a couple of days until the gate's repaired."

"But who could have known?"

"I don't know Sam. We're pretty sure we rooted out all the spies among the Tok'ra and none of our operatives would give up that sort of information, even unwillingly."

"You think it came from here?"

"Not the SGC, the checks are too thorough, there's no chance of someone walking around here being undetected, but Earth? Probably. Someone with up-to-date knowledge of the gate. As you know, the 'safe' planets are procured from the list of former ancient-occupied worlds that Jack put on the computer when he got the first download and are used by both SGC and Tok'ra personnel."

"But Dad - even we don't know which one's you're using at any given time."

"Well someone does. Clearly someone who's still got a few loyal jaffa – I didn't recognise their symbol but they weren't of the free kind. Most likely the source is someone with high-level access who has a way of communicating offworld without being detected."

"The Trust."

"I don't know for sure, but that's the most likely scenario. As I told Jack, no one can know I'm here. As few personnel on base as possible and nobody outside it – its too risky." The whole thing gave Jacob a non-symbiote induced headache just thinking about it.

* * *

Daniel watched Jack chase Sam out of the infirmary and shook his head. Perhaps the check-in guard's joke about those two needing Saint Jude had been funny after all, but Daniel still liked to hope they weren't a lost cause just yet – there was still too much flirting going on for that, (which Daniel also noted had turned up a notch when Sam hadrejectedher brother's first offer for a set-up date).

"So, what do you want to do?" Daniel asked nobody in particular.

"It looks like we shall be here for some time yet, Daniel Jackson." Daniel looked first at Teal'c and then over at Matt and his half-eaten plate of 'food'.

"Damn it!"

"There is no need for such language, Matthew Carter."

Matt cast him a withering look but went solemnly back to his veg. Teal'c entirely unperturbed, continued to stare at him.

"Right. Uh...Rachael, why don't we leave them to it?"

Having no desire to hang around in case she was subjected to similar punishment, Rachael eagerly followed the man out of the commissary.

"You're Daniel, right?" Rachael asked.

"Yeah."

"Can I ask you a question? – that wasn't it."

"Sure."

"Are Aunt Sam and Mister Jack dating?"

"Mr. Jack?"

"He wouldn't let us call him General. And I _know _you're stalling so, are the dating? Cause I heard Dad say to Mom that he thinks that maybe they are and Aunt Sam just won't admit it and that's why she didn't want to go out with Mr Shanahan, but that if they were Mister Jack was Aunt Sam's boss in the military and that's why she can't tell anybody and Dad seemed kinda mad about it – but **I **thought that if they were you would know cause Aunt Sam talks about you and I know that you're on the same team and that you're good friends, right?"

'…And breathe!' Daniel thought to himself.

"Actually, they're not dating."

"Oh…cause Aunt Sam was flirting with Mister Jack – even though she said that she wasn't – and I like Aunt Sam and Mister Jack and I thought that maybe I could come stay with them sometimes, like when Dad gets mad and yells at Matt for not putting the television back together."

If Matthew Carter had, by some leap in DNA, inherited Sam's scientific ability then it seemed Rachael Carter had inherited Sam's ability to talk endlessly on absolutely nothing at all. Just where **Mark Carter **fitted into this eccentric family was anyone's guess.

* * *

_A/N: Before you all get your knickers in a twist, i just wanted to give Jacob a bit of background instead of just dumping him inexplicably into the story, but rest assured this is not an adventure fic, its abouttwo kids driving everyone to their wits end! I feel the funnyness has sort of tailed off a bit, but i'm just writing what 'pops into my frond' so you'll have to bear with me. Like i said, the next one's all sam and jack. Hopefully it will be up soon._


	7. the art of conversation

Author's Notes:

1. To my very helpful and slightly-injured (it wasn't me, honest!) Beta: Sorry I didn't send this to you first; I really wanted to get it posted while I had some time cause things are starting to get a bit crazy round here.

2. To all my wonderful readers: Just so that you all know, I'm not into what the author Aynnilynn calls 'review bargaining' (not posting stories until you get a certain number of reviews) so if I haven't updated this is not the reason. I totally agree with what she says in 'Lilies' that its off-putting when reading and a bit contrary to the whole point and spirit of this site and I wanted to say so. BUT I do love to hear what you think and any ideas and constructive criticisms you might have. Your input and response is important because this story seems to me to be very fan-driven (because there's so many of you reading this - which still freaks me out!) As a result I really want to write stuff that you'll enjoy and your comments, responses and ideas - both postive and negative - help me to do that within the framework of the story as I have imagined and planned it. I still get scared people won't like it and it'll be Fahrenheit 451 for everything that I've written. It's thatwhole 'fear of failure' thing, but if you try you might fail and if you don't try you'll definately fail, right? So when you do review you can help me by posting CONSTRUCTIVE criticism instead of nasty, cold, frosty ice-queen reviews.

cough Diane cough

I get enough cold weather where I live.Thankfully most of you have been writing reviews in the realms of 'the Western Isles in May' which means mild weather, long summer evenings, beautiful sunsets and not too many midgies:D

* * *

After informing the technicians that Colonel Carter would be delayed slightly, General Jack O'Neill holed himself up in his office for the afternoon, racing through his paper work so that he could get away on time. When O'Neill announced, perfectly on time that not only was he leaving but that he had _finished his paperwork_, Walter just about had a nervous breakdown.

O'Neill found Carter, as she had prophesised, lying under a desk staring at wires. The control room was abuzz with highly caffeinated technicians trying to stay awake long enough to 'just finish this bit'. O'Neill saw through their collective façade immediately.

"OK, stop! I want all of you to go home and have a full night's rest. You guys have been at this thing for three days straight.

"Sir…"

"Siler, you can barely stand up nevermind rewire a supercomputer. I'd rather it was a few days late and right than on time but wrong cause the people working on it are so tired they can't tell up from down. Go get some rest. It'll still be here in the morning."

Taking the hint, they slowly downed tools and left. All except for Carter who was so intent with her work that she didn't seem to notice anything going on around her. Jack looked down at his Colonel, her head stuck under a computer, her body resting on a boogie board of some sort. He took advantage of the moment to admire her body and dragged an admiring eye down her body – still perfect, even in Bdu's – and then back up, pausing at her breasts.

"Sir, when you've finished staring at my breasts…"

"Was not!" Jack said too quickly. He moved across the room, reclining on an empty chair, as if doing so would absolve him of guilt. Despite her words, her head was still buried underneath the desk and Jack couldn't help but envisage his hands surrounding that supple waist laid out before him. Sam moved her arms as she continued to work under the desk; her t-shirt moved to reveal a small patch of pale skin and was that red…?

Jack knew he'd let his thoughts wander too far when he felt his body respond and quickly moved so that he sat leaning forwards on his chair, elbows on knees in an attempt to disguise it. Sam took that moment to wheel herself out and stared curiously up at her CO. 'Got to stall Jack, got to stall!'

Sam, for her part knew exactly why her CO was sitting like that and smiled inwardly, careful not to let it show on her face. That was the oldest trick in the book; did he honestly think she'd fall for that one? Sometimes these guys seemed to forget just how long she'd been working in this male-dominated environment they called the Air Force. She knew he was stalling and decided to play along.

"Sir?"

"Carter?"

"Where did everyone go?"

"I ordered them home?"

"But sir-''

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Better done late than by zombies, sir?"

"Well you should know by now that I've always preferred the Simpsons analogies, but essentially, yes…Sam."

"Sam?"

"Moment of weakness." Jack smiled cheekily, thinking this might work. Unknown to him, Sam was already two steps ahead.

"Could you give me a hand up sir?" Sam asked, changing the subject. She put one hand in the air where she lay on her back, appearing for all intents and purposes, to be waiting expectantly for him to help.

"Uh…" Jack paused. '_Think O'Neill_, **think!**"

"Nevermind." Sam gave up waiting and got herself up. Knowing she was covered in dust, she turned towards away from him and quickly dusted herself down.

"Carter I was thinking, why don't you and Matt and Rachael stay at my house? I have two spare rooms and you can have my bedroom."

"Where would you sleep, General?" Sam turned towards him, waiting for his answer.

"On the couch."

Sam stared at him blankly for a long moment. When she didn't answer Jack raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Well?"

"Well you'd better if you're gonna react like _that_ every time you stare at my breasts." Sam stared pointedly at Jack's hidden crotch. Jack turned bright red; his mouth opened and closed but no words came out. He sat helplessly as Sam mad her dramatic exit: "My breasts and I will meet you at the surface…_Jack_."

* * *

"Carter."

"Sir."

They nodded a formal greeting at each other, both pretending that what had just happened in the control room, hadn't.

"Matt, here's the keys. Hop on in."

"Thankyou Jack."

Silently Jack and Sam loaded the kids' bags into the back of his truck. That done, the two paused at the back of the truck.

"You know, I had another thought, Carter."

"Should I be concerned, Sir?"

"Maybe – I was thinking we could do a house swap."

"A house swap, sir?" Sam visibly gulped.

"It makes sense. There's three of you and one of me; my house has three bedrooms your house has one: I figure you're all going to be staying in my house whatever and I thought you might like a bit of privacy. I understand if you're not comfortable with me staying at your house, so I can stay with Daniel if you want, but….what?" Sam was looking at him absent mindedly and smiling.

"Hmm?" Her attention was back but the look didn't go away. Jack decided he liked that look.

"Penny for 'em."

Sam shook her head.

"Dollar?"

Sam shook her head.

"Chocolate cookie-dough ice cream?"

Sam smiled at the ground. He recalled Laira doing the same thing years ago and realised thathe'd liked it then because it reminded him of Sam. Jack took a step towards her but was interrupted by the two back doors of his truck flying open, two heads flying out and two heads yelling in perfect unison,"Aunt Sam!" The spell broken, the adults made their way to the front of the truck and climbed in. There would be time for talking later. Right now they had a domestic peace treaty to negotiate.


	8. goodnight kiss, i wish!

_Author's Note: I can't believe how crazy its been trying to update. I've had this written for a couple of weeks not (dodges the rotten tomatoes) but i just haven't had the time to type it up. Its been seriously crazy but i got my essay in for wednesday on time - even if i accidently wrote it on the wrong thing. The other thing is that after reading books all day, sometimes i just don't like reading or writing fanfiction. There's lots of snow here at the moment though, which means not so much rugby and a bit more time for stargate...damn it! My beta! I knew i forgot something. (sorry!)

* * *

_

"OK kids, lets hussle. Grubs up!" Matt and Rachael came running to the table as Jack brought through dinner. "Don't worry Matt, no cabbage. Though I swear if you blow up my basement…"

"No way, Mr Jack."

KNOCK KNOCK

"I'll get it, sir."

"Thanks Carter."

Sam walked the short way to the front door and opened it.

"Hey Sam."

"Daniel, Teal'c. What're you doing here?"

"What are **you** doing here?"

"Have you seen the size of her house?" Jack hollered through.

"Good point. Uh…we just thought we'd drop by and see how Jack was doing but I guess since you're here we should probably-"

"Are you partaking in dinner, O'Neill?" Teal'c queried and invited himself in, pushing past Sam and Daniel to get to the dinner table.

"Its meatloaf, Uncle Teal'c." Rachael grinned at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure there's plenty, right Jack?" Matt asked.

"Sure, come on in, can I take your coat?" Jack asked sarcastically. He knew Teal'c didn't mean to be rude, but still…he looked at Sam as she wandered in. 'Uncle'? She mouthed at him. He shrugged. He was as clueless as the next guy – although not, apparently, Teal'c. Danny wandered in last, trying to appear inconspicuous and feeling rather guilty for crashing the party. It wasn't to be.

"Danny, man!" Matt greeted Daniel. The two had a high-5 moment. Jack had to admit he was feeling a bit left out, Sam was just feeling bewildered.

"I guess we're just missing Dad." She commmented, more to herself than to anyone else in the room.

"Dad?"

"Dad?"

"DAD!" Teal'c, Daniel and Jack said all at the same time.

"My Dad arrived in town this morning but he's been sort of busy." Sam tried to explain as vaugely as possible to her confused niece and nephew and her frowning team-mates. Well maybe Daniel was frowning more than Teal'c, but Teal'c hadthat look in his eye…

"Grandpa's here?" Rachael asked. "Can we see him?"

"He's in town sweetie, but he's busy. Later this week though, ok?"

"Alright."

"So, who wants meatloaf?" Jack asked, trying to get the topic of conversation back to the matter in hand.

* * *

"That was most satisfying, O'Neill."

"Thankyou, Teal'c. Who's for some twister?"

"I am afraid we must depart."

"What? You're not staying?"

"Sorry Sam, Teal'c's right. We'll see you in the morning." And with no further explanation, the two men promptly said goodbye to the kids and left. Everyone stared for a moment at the closed door, everyone thinking exactly the same thing - 'Weird'.

"In that case kids, I'll show you your rooms."

"Rachael, its time you got ready for bed." Sam prompted.

"Its only seven o'clock!" She complained.

"Rachael, I talked to your dad. You have an eight o'clock bedtime and we're sticking to it. Now go see your room. I'm going to clear up here and when I get back I expect you to be in your pyjamas with your teeth cleaned."

"But-"

"I'll come read you a story, alright?"

"Fine!"

"Matt, nine."

"**What!** Mr Jack, help me here."

"Oh no! You're so _not _pulling me into this one!"

"Aunt Sam, I'm thirteen."

"And you'll be getting up atsix tomorrow just like everyone else, so you need your sleep. Right General?"

"Huh?"

"Sir, aren't you going to back me up on this?" Sam stared at him accusingly. Jack stared back, imploring her not to bring him into this. Sam still stared. Damn! Why couldn't he resist her?

"Your Aunt has a point. Nine o'clock, lights out."

Matt sighed dramatically. Backing each other up, just like his parents. Typical.

* * *

Half an hour later, Rachael was safely lucked up in bed. She's started falling asleep the moment she got into her pyjamas – despite her protests to the contrary – and Sam had put her to bed well before her eight o'clock bedtime. It had been a tiring day. Matt meanwhile had holed himself up in his new room and left Sam and Jack alone. In silence they cleaned the dishes and then wached tv and chatted casually for a while about nothing in particlar. Before long it was nine o'clock.

"I'm gonna check on Matt." Sam announced.

"Alright, I'll be right here."

Sam got up and left. She was back just a few minutes later.

"He wants you to go say goodnight."

"Why? I swear that kid hates me. He's best buds with _Daniel _for cryin' out loud!"

Sam snorted. The General clearly didn't see the funny side of what he'd just said. After all, Jack was 'best buds with Daniel' too. Maybe he was just worried about the choas factor kicking in – Daniel and Matt hanging out together just screamed of choas and disaster. "Maybe you should just humour him, sir."

Jack reluctantly got up and headed to Matt's room. He knocked twice and then pushed open the door. It was dark inside, with only the light of the streetlights creeping in. Matt was lying in bed.

"Matt?"

"Sir, I just wanted to say that I really _am _sorry about your playstation. We didn't seem to get off on the best foot today and maybe tomorrow we could start again."

"Sure. We could do that." Jack paused and looked around a bit. He hadn't been sure about putting Matt in here. "I uh…I hope this is going to be ok for you. Sorry about the stuff."

"Whose is it?"

"My son's. You can look at his comics I guess, I do that sometimes. But just leave his toys and the baseball stuff, would you? I don't want it getting broken."

"Sure." Matt noticed he was being serious. The guy had been pissed about the playstation, but this was different. Thisstuff reallymeant something to him. Mattwas hesitantly curious. He watched the man, who was so unlike his own father, turn towards the door. "Goodnight Jack."

"Goodnight, Matt."

Jack left and checked into his own room, trying to shake off the disturbing feeling of déjà vu. I _so _could have been Charlie in there. His room was tidy enough, but Jack tidied it a bit more anyway before fetching Carter to show her around.

Sam was sitting on the sofa watching tv, wonder what was going on between Matt and the General. Just then, the man himself walked in.

"I tidied my room for you Carter. Come on, I'll show you."

"Sir, I really can't – I'll sleep here."

"You don't understand. I **tidied! **Now _come on!_"

Sam had to admit she felt curious and rather priviliged to be staying in Jack's house, and after Jackhad shown her such hospitality – he _had _tidied – she couldn't really say no. Hesitantly, she followed. Oh yes, was she curious…but this was her CO's bedroom. _Jack's _bedroom, and he wanted her to sleep in it – for a whole week.

"I shifted stuff around the drawers a bit so you can have the top two and feel free to hang stuff in my wardrobe. Just shove everything over a bit andthere should beplenty space. I packed a few things already but if I need anything I'll let you know."

"Sir, you really don't have to do this."

"Carter, not another word. For this week my house is your house."

"In that case General, my house is your house too."

Jack took a step towards her. "Sam, if you're not comfortable with me staying…"

"It's fine sir, and it's the least I can do for you under the circumstances. I brought a few overnight things from base but I'll have to go round tomorrow and get some things for the rest of the week."

"OK, I guess I'd better get going then." Sam walked him to the door where they exchanged house keys. They stood on the doorstep for a moment in awkward silence.

"Sweet dreams, Carter."

"Likewise sir."

The stood there staring, not moving. Jack was first to look away.

"…Carter."

"Yes, sir?"

"You don't have a car." Jack pointed out, looking around the front yard.

"Its alright sir. We'll be fine. We can sort it in the morning."

"I'll come by around seven to pick you up." Jack stared at her lips for a moment, then at her eyes. She knew what he meant and did the same – if they weren't allowed a real goodnight kiss, they could always imagine it, and that would have to do for now. Jack turned away before it got too much.

"Sir, one last thing." Jack turned back around, half expecting, half hoping that she'd jump him. His logical mind knew all along that she wouldn't. "If you need any aspirin its in the _left _hand bathroom cupboard, not the right."

Jack nodded. "Goodnight, Carter."

"Goodnight, sir."

She really, really, hoped he'd go for left.

* * *

_OK, don't kill me. They're still General and Lieutenant-Colonel, remember. This was supposed to be Sam focused but Jack seems to be taking over. The next chapter will be about Jack and then i'm thinking of doing one from each of the kids points of view. I really will try and get it up sooner, maybe with all this snow i'll get some written tomorrow._

_Maybe..._


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N:_ _I'm a terrible terrible person and you all should hate me for never updating frequently enough or with long enough chapters or with anything that actually makes any sense until you've read the rest of the story three times over. Don't worry about the flames, i'll yell at myself. The problem is that i don't have a computer so i have to find time to use the university computers when no one is around - that usually means early sunday mornings when i can drag myself out of bed when i either don'tREALLY_ _need to catch up on sleep or have lots of work to do._

A/N 2: To help my friendly readers i am going to give you a quick rundown of the plot so far cause this is quite confusing out of context (thankyou beta, i usually don't notice things like this): Its a bit long, but its shorter than re-reading the last 8 chapters (which you can still do if you want, of course).

Rachael Carter and Matthew Carter, Mark Carter's kids and Sam's niece and nephew have been unexpectedly sent from San Diago to Colorado Springs due to childcare problems (see chapter 1). Jack, being a helpful General, gave her a ride to the airport. Sam and Jack are called back to the SGC and dump the kids in a VIP room. When about to be briefed by Col. Jenson, containment is called to the VIP suite and Sam arrives shortly after to find that her scientifically minded nephew has managed to accidentally blow up the VIP room, along with Jack's borrowed playstation. Their visitor, it turns out is Jacob. He's on the run and needs to stay low profile - no leaving the mountain or if possible,his room. No one shouldknow he's around!After a quick visit to the infirmary, Jack takes Matt to lunch at the commissarypunishinghim with a plateful of cabbage. Sam is called to the control room and Jack has to return to his desk so Daniel and Teal'c look after the kids. On their respective ways Jack tells Sam that Dad is here. Teal'c and Daniel still don't know. Samgoes to see Jacob but conveniently forgets to mention that Matt and Rachael are in town. A few hours later its the end of the day. After a bit of flirting in the Control Room, Sam, Jack and the kids all head back to his house for dinner. Unexpectedly, Daniel and Teal'c turn up and just as unexpectedly, they leave again. Sam, feeling in Jack's debt for letting them stay in his house (cause hers is too small), tells Jack that an house swap discussed earlier should go ahead - Jackcan sleep in her house for the week. And the aspirin is in the _left _hand bathroom cupboard, not the right:P

* * *

**Teal'c's car, driving back to the SGC**

"Indeed you were correct Daniel Jackson. Jacob Carter is on Earth as you suspected."

"Well I figured he'd be the only tok'ra who would or could check in on us and leave Jack as calm as he's been today…plus I my have overhear a couple of the guards talking."

"Colonel Carter stated that he was busy. We may yet be able to locate him with the confines of Cheyenne Mountain."

"Well maybe we should head there then."

"We are."

"Oh."

* * *

**At The SGC**

Jacob Carter sat alone in his room in the SGC wondering just what the hell was going on. Neither Sam nor jack had been to see him and even though they regularly worked late, he wondered just where they'd got to. Surely Sam wouldn't leave without saying goodbye? Jus then he though he heard some sort of commotion outside the door of his room.

"We wish to see Jacob Carter."

"I'm afraid I can't let you past sir."

"I _will_ gain access, airman - whether you resist or not."

Jacob heard the click of a gun being primed.

"Sir please move away."

"You will not shoot me."

Mere seconds later Jacob heard a thump and opened the door to find Teal'c pinning the guard to the wall by the door. Teal'c's hand was firmly round his neck at the end of the Jaffa's outstretched arms; the poor guys' legs were about a foot off the ground.

"Jacob Carter, it is good to see you once again."

"Teal'c, Daniel. What's going on?"

"We're kidnapping you." Daniel told him.

"What? I can't leave the mountain!"

"That's sort of the point. Come on!" Daniel prompted and made off towards the elevators. A completely bewildered Jacob Carter followed. Even Selmak didn't seem to know what was going on. With Daniel and Jacob a safe distance away, Teal'c released the guard who fell coughing to the ground. The men entered the elevator and Daniel sent it to the surface.

"Daniel, where's Sam?"

"Oh she went home with Jack and the kids."

"WHAT!" Jacob knew it had been a while since he'd visited but surely she'd have told him if like this had happened. Surely? Or was that why neither Sam nor Jack had returned? Jacob's eyes flashed as Selmak took control.

"**Please explain your last statement, Doctor Jackson."**

"Matthew Carter and Rachael Carter arrived in Colorado Springs this morning to be cared for by Colonel Carter."

Suddenly Jacob was back. He sighed deeply.

"Scare me like that again and you're a dead man, Jackson."

Daniel frowned.

"Huh?"

"I thought…oh never mind. So, what's the plan?"

"Well, Sam and the kids are apparently staying at Jack's house, so we thought you might like to stay at Sam's."

"Beats four grey walls. You don't think she'll mind?"

"On many occasions Colonel Carter has extended invitations to you to use her house when she is not."

"Just let me run by the locker room and get some things."

* * *

**A short while later, back in the elevator**

Jacob was back, now dressed in his Earth street-clothes which he kept in an assigned locker at the SGC, given to him by none other than Jack himself due to his frequent visits to Earth.

"So, how do I get there?"

"Colonel Carter has left her volvo at the SGC. We have procured her keys for you."

"It's alright." Assured Daniel. "She's insured for other drivers."

"To be honest Daniel, that's not really what concerns me. I'm more worried about what Sam will say when she finds out about all this."

"Colonel Carter is greatly pre-occupied with her niece and nephew. Daniel Jackson and I watched over them this afternoon since Colonel Carter has much work to do in order to repair the Stargate."

"We invited ourselves to dinner at Jack's." Explained Daniel. "He had some visitors."

Has she not offered you invitations of hospitality on several occasions?"

"Maybe."

"And did she not say that you were welcome to use her house when she was not doing so?"

"Possibly."

"And do you not have possessions which you wish to retrieve from Colonel Carter's home?"

"Probably."

Selmak reared his head again.

"**Why are Rachael and Matt not in San Diego? Has something happened to Mark? Jacob is extremely concerned although he will not say as much. I felt it necessary to inquire."**

"Oh no! Mark has an important conference in New York this week. His father-in-law's fallen ill and Mark's wife had to head up to Seattle. Apparently Sam was the only person available to look after them. I don't know why she didn't tell you though."

"She knows I get annoyed when Mark interrupts her in the middle of her work. He's not in the loop, he doesn't understand how important it is, he thinks it's just any other running-around-for-the-military job. Besides, it's not exactly something Sam would feel comfortable just casually throwing into a conversation – do they know I'm here?"

"They know you're around. So…" Daniel held up Sam car key stolen from her coat while at Jack's. Jacob took them. "You got a door key?" Daniel checked.

"Yes. Does she know you have these?" Jacob held up the keys. Daniel stared at the floor to avoid eye contact and coughed, not-so-subtly.

"I'll call her when I get to the house, but you might want to keep your heads low tomorrow."

Teal'c cocked an eyebrow inquiringly. Jacob ignored him. Moments later the elevator opened.

"Teal'c I'm going to head home too." Daniel decided.

"I shall see you both in the morning."

"Bye Teal'c."

"Bye."

The Jaffa nodded solemnly as the doors closed. The elevator went back down sending Teal'c to his on-base quarters. Daniel got in his car and headed home to his apartment, while Jacob Carter got in his daughter's car and headed to her house. He knew she wouldn't mind – she _had _offered him the use of both her car and her house just about every time he got to Earth but still, he _really _needed to call her when he got to Sam's.

And Daniel and Teal'c it turned out really were thick as thieves.

* * *

**Meanwhile in a quiet suburb of Colorado Springs…**

Jack pulled up outside Sam's house. He could do this. It was just a favour from a friend, his Second In Command, nothing more. He could do this! After taking yet another deep breath, he finally climbed out of his truck and headed up the garden path.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: OK, the first attempt at this chapter was totally crap as my beta rightly told me and thank goodness i have her or i'm sure you'd all be long gone. _ _I'm working on the next chapter, but don't count on it being updated anytime soon - way too much uni work to do. sorry for being like this, please don't pelt me with olives! (or anything else for that matter!)_

_ Disclaimer: I've sort of given up on these, but the usual rules apply (not mine, yadda, yadda...)  
_

* * *

Jack pulled up outside Sam's house. He could do this. It was just a favour from a friend, his Second in Command, nothing more. He could do this! After taking yet another deep breath, he finally climbed out of his truck and headed up the garden path. 

Jack O'Neill dumped Carter's mail on the table in the hall and switched on the light. He'd been here a few times before, but usually if there was hanging out for SG-1 to do it was done at his house. This place was, for the most part, unknown. He switched on the light and looked around. Simple yet elegant – very Carter. Sara hadn't been like that much – she'd always gone for the more traditional flowered fabrics and thick woven carpets instead of the plain, practical look Sam had gone for. And yet little things about this place also made it look homely – the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, the half-read magazines left scattered around...even the quirkily-alphabetised bookshelf and the rugs on the uniform laminate flooring that seemed peculiarly 'her'.

Jack decided he liked it. He tried to watch television for a while but found himself yawning and decided to head to bed. Jack O'Neill wanted at least one good night's sleep if he was going to be dealing with Mark Carter's kids for the rest of the week. He fetched his bag from the truck and got undressed for bed. He locked the door, took out the key and placed it and his gun in a safe place in Sam's bedroom. Next he went to the bathroom, cleaned his teeth and decided Carter wouldn't mind if her Commanding Officer borrowed a couple of aspirin. Ok, took a couple because it was extremely unlikely that she'd be wanting these babies back.

Jack opened the right hand cupboard, and then shut it again swiftly.

Just to be sure, he opened it again, and shut it just as fast.

He so didn't need to see that.

Cautiously, he opened the left hand door and found an array of over-the-counter meds mixed with the usual scattering of half-finished prescriptions so common in the cupboards of his team. In fact, they could probably open a pharmacy between them, never mind the other teams. O'Neill picked out the aspirin, popped a couple replaced the lid and closed the door.

For several seconds he stood in front of the basin staring at the cupboard, daring himself to check again. Testing his mind – and his eyes – just one more time, he opened the door.

Yep, still there.

There was such a thing as too much information when it came to one's 2IC, especially when that 2IC was Samantha Carter. Maybe if he just went to sleep and forgot about the whole thing, it would be gone by morning. OK, probably not – but he could try.

Just a short while later, Jack was lying in bed almost asleep when he inexplicably became aware of the presence of someone in the front hall. Grabbing his gun he got silently out of bed and sneaked across the bedroom. In one swift motion he swung the bedroom door wide and leapt out gun first to face his intruder...coming face to face with the barrel of another gun.

"JACOB!"

"JACK!"

"I just about shot you!"

"What the hell are you doing here, Jack?"

"What're _you_ doing here?"

"I asked first."

"But your gun's empty."

"How do you know?"

"Black ops, Jacob. I just know."

Jacob lowered his gun.

"I still asked first though." Jacob insisted, smirking.

Jack finally put down his gun.

"Its not what it looks like. Sam's looking after Mark's kids this week, I figured she didn't have enough space here so we're doing a house swap."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Daniel told me."

"But I didn't tell him you were here."

"He digs around for a living Jack."

"I guess. So, why're you here if you're supposed to be staying low?" Jack asked as he led his visitor towards the kitchen and put the kettle on.

"Coffee?"

"Please. I heard Sam and the kids were in town and that they were staying at your house. Sam's always said I could use her house when she wasn't here so here I am. Figured I'd give her a call when I arrived. I didn't expect anybody to be here."

Jack poured two cups from the cafetiere. Jacob took a large gulp and let out a sigh.

"Day that bad, huh?"

"I miss this stuff." Jacob said, avoiding the question. "Selmak doesn't like it."

"Yeah, I think Carter might have said something a while back. Didn't believe her – just out of curiosity when said that you didn't expect anybody to be here..."

"You're a big boy Jack. What you do in your own time's none of my business."

"What, no 'if you break her heart I'm gonna kill you' speech?"

"Jack, if you and Sam ever have a fight, if you ever lose her – I know you well enough to know that no one could ever kill you more than yourself." Jack looked down at the table awkwardly. "I know this because I've been through it too Jack. I see the way you look at her; I see the way she looks at you. It's the same way her mother used to look at me. I lost the love of my life Jack and it was my fault. I have to live with that just like you have to live with losing your son. Don't go and lose her too."

"Jacob as much as I...you know we can't." Jack looked up at Jacob, the old general was surprised to see tears in Jack's eyes.

"Just don't wait too long, ok?" Jack nodded; then after a moment the pair hugged – not the manly back-slapping sort of hug, but in an honest, father-son sort of way.

"Thanks Dad."

"Way to make me feel old, Jack. If you're grey what does that make me?"

"Hey, at least I still have hair!"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that Jack. I'd better get back to the mountain. Mind if I grab a couple of aspirin on the way out? My head is killing me!"

"Shouldn't Selmak take care of that?"

"Selmak is the cause of that - I told you he doesn't like coffee."

"Ah."

Jacob exited the kitchen towards the bathroom.

"I'll get it for you, Jacob."

Jacob was now in the bathroom.

"Its ok, Jack. I'm sure she must have some lying around in here."

Jacob moved towards the medicine cupboard's right hand door.

"Left door."

"Huh?"

"Aspirin's in the left."

"Right."

Jacob opened the left door, popped a couple of aspirin, put it back and headed past Jack out the bathroom towards the front door.

"Do me a favour, Jack."

"Sure."

"Don't tell Sam about our talk."

"Jacob, its alright to let her know that you cared about your wife."

"I know Jack, but old habits die hard. Mark still blames me and with the kids here..."

"I won't tell her – for now."

"Thank you. I'll see you in the morning, Jack."

Jack opened the door and watched the man walk towards Sam's car.

"Drive safely."

Jacob waved a hand in acknowledgement, and then he was gone.

As Jack lay awake later that night, it wasn't the caffeine that kept him from falling asleep – it was the thought floating around inside his head wondering just how much of tonight he could really keep from Carter. Jack O'Neill was well practised at hiding things from people. He'd had years of practice – but damn! That woman could read him like a book.

Tomorrow was definitely going to be an interesting day.

* * *

_A/N: And before you all ask me why Jacob's gun was empty...it just was, ok? I wanted him to have a gun but I wanted Jack to 'win' (without actually shooting Jacob) so if anyone can come up with a better reason than this, be sure to let me know.  
_


	11. the morning after

_OK, i figured i better get this written up before i started getting death squads sent after me from readers wanting to find out what happens next. Sorry i didn't send this via beta, i looked over it and it seemed ok so I posted anyway._

_ I don't mean to be a terrible person, it just sort of happens._

_

* * *

_

When Jack O'Neill walked into his house at 7am sharp he found Matt and Rachael sitting eating fruit loops in the kitchen. Matt was in his robe, the wet hair indicating he had recently emerged from the shower. His sister was still in her pyjamas.

"Rachael why aren't you dressed yet? Where's your aunt?"

"She's asleep. I was gonna go dress when I finish." Rachael pointed at her almost-finished cereal.

"Ok, finish your breakfast and then go get dressed. I'll wake up Carter."

Jack nudged open his bedroom door and crept towards the bed where he found a beautiful woman sleeping, the morning sun playing in her golden hair. The sheets lay across her waist showing that she wore only a vest top with her pyjamas pants, and Jack was pretty sure she didn't have a bra on under that. Temptation itself lay barely clothed in his bed, and as memories of yesterday's encounter in the control room rang through his head, he knew immediately: this was _so _not good for their working relationship.

"Carter." Jack whispered.

No response.

"Carter!" A bit louder.

Still no response.

Jack placed a gentle hand on her bare shoulder.

"Sam." The woman finally rolled over towards him. "Morning sleepy head."

"Why're you dressed Jack? Come back to bed." She mumbled. And before Jack knew where he was her arms were around his neck pulling his head down to hers, kissing him breathless. It took some time and no small amount of willpower for Jack to prise himself out of her grip. He cleared his throat.

"Whatcha doin' Carter?"

"Seducing you – _General_."

She moved towards him again, but Jack was quicker.

"We're not allowed. Its against regulations."

"Then why'd you just kiss me back?"

"Carter-"

"You didn't seem to mind in the last dream."

Sam gazed up at him with such sleepy, adoring eyes it almost broke his heart at the mere thought of telling her the truth.

Sam lay in bed gazing lovingly up at the man she loved. Even if she wasn't allowed to love him in real life, she could at least love him in her dreams. But as she lay there gazing up at him she realised that something was wrong. Something about that kiss was different, more real, almost as if..."

Reality hit her like a speeding truck.

Cautiously she lifted one hand and poked his arm.

Yep, definitely there.

"This isn't a dream."

Jack shook his head, not knowing what to say.

"Oh."

"Its uh...its seven o'clock."

"I slept in."

"You did."

"The kids?"

"Having breakfast."

Sam nodded. Then paused. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"The kiss."

"What kiss?" Jack winked at her.

"Back in the room again?"

Jack shrugged. They had little choice. "I should let you...i'll be in the kitchen making coffee."

"Yes sir."

Jack got off the bed and walked out the door without looking back.

Across the hall...

Matt, seeing Jack get up swiftly shut his bedroom door. They'd kissed. They had _definitely_ kissed. So, Rachael was right after all.

When Jack had walked in the front door just moments earlier, Matt had just about finished eating, and left the kitchen to get dressed shortly after Jack disappeared in the direction of his aunt's room. Matt's bedroom was diagonally across the hall from the master bedroom. With his aunt's bedroom door left slightly ajar, Matt could clearly see them from his own room across the hall. His sister had been adamant that the two of them had been flirting yesterday, and this new revelation left Matthew more than a little curious. Maybe Daniel could help.

The Kitchen, Jack's House, 0730h

Everyone sat round the kitchen table.

"I called Daniel this morning. He's going to look after you today." Jack announced to Matt and Rachael.

"He is?" Sam was surprised. The two kids however merely smiled at each other. Jack saw the exchange and inwardly frowned – they were up to something.

"If you don't mind, Carter."

"No, sir. Its fine." Sam saw that confused, contemplative look draw over his face.

"Penny for 'em, General?"

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Matt and Rachael ran off to answer it.

"This means I actually have to _work _today, Carter."

"You do run the place, sir."

"I always knew that was a bad idea." Jack muttered as Daniel wandered in.

"Jack."

"Daniel."

"Sam."

"Daniel."

Jack and Sam stood awkwardly as Daniel stared at them expectantly.

"Thanks for doing this." Sam said, attempting conversation.

"No problem."

"Uh...there's food in the refrigerator, a spare key by the door. There's some ice-cream in the freezer but don't let them have too much sugar - or caffeine - and try and keep them in your sight. Since Teal'c's not here to intimidate them into behaving don't let them run rings round you. The first aid kit is in the kitchen if you need. it. Now, don't let them play on the road and you do go out give me a call and let me know where you're going and when you'll get back. If we're late home Rachael is to be in bed by eight and never under any circumstances let Matthew play with his science kit."

SILENCE

Matthew and Rachael stared innocently, and somewhat expectantly up at the adults.

"Do you want to write that down, Sam?" Daniel finally said.

"Daniel-"

"Sam, we'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Jack and Sam said goodbye to the kids before Daniel walked them to the door.

"Bye Sam, bye Jack."

"Bye Daniel." Sam walked out towards Jack's truck.

"Bye Space Monkey, if i was you I'd trust her on the sugar/caffeine thing." And with a friendly slap on the shoulder, he was gone.

Jack's truck, driving from Jack's house to Cheyenne Mountain.

"I never took you for much of a worrier, Carter."

Sam blushed. "Its Daniel, sir."

"They'll be fine."

"Yes sir."

"Trust me."

"I do, General – its my niece and nephew i have the problem with."

"Ah. By the way, did Dad talk to you?"

"No, why?"

"He came around last night."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Carter, stop apologising. Besides, it was Teal'c and Daniel who spilt the beans about you staying at my house. Jacob said something about using your house when you weren't around but when he found me there he headed back up to the mountain. He was gonna call but I told him you were probably asleep."

"He knows the kids are here?"

"Yep."

"Peachy."

Jack have his Second a sideways glance, then smirked.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Nothing."

Sam didn't believe him.

"That wasn't a 'nothing' look, sir – that was definitely a 'something' look."

"A 'something' look?"

"Sir..." 'Damn it! How did she do that?' Jack wondered. His will broken by a word and a look.

"I had to stop your dad from going into the bathroom cupboard."

"He didn't...?"

"No."

"But you...?"

"Yep."

"Oh." Sam decided that if it was at all possible – physically, psychically or otherwise – to disappear into thin air then now was a good time. Unfortunately, not even Thor seemed willing to help her out on this one. "Sir, before I die of embarrassment can I just ask that you never speak another word about this to anybody."

"Don't worry about it."

There was silence for some time.

"You know its ok." Jack began quietly.

"What is?"

"_That_. I'm sure you're not the only one. I...I do understand." Jack looked straight ahead, too afraid to meet her eye.

"Yes, sir." Sam said, hoping that this terrible conversation had finally wrapped itself up.

They sat side by side, driving through the streets, staring ahead – both too afraid to meet the other's eye. They had driven out of Colorado Springs before Jack spoke once more.

"Sort of kinky actually."

Sam laughed in disbelief.

Only Jack O'Neill...

A Short While later - Janet's Office, The Infirmary.

"He _WHAT?_"

"He found my vibrator."

* * *

_Sorry its been so long, Uni is finished for the sumer so i've started writing again. I even had another story pop into my head last night and had to write but God knows if it'll ever go anywhere. I need some feedback though - do you guys want more about Rachael and Matt? If so, I need ideas about what they could get up to with Daniel for the day. _


	12. Breakfast

**Author's Note:**** So... yeah, kind of disappeared there, didn't I? Lets just say I've had a really busy year and leave it at that. I do apologise to all of you dissapointed by the fact that this story just stopped, but i'm thinking of trying to get it going again so this is a short experimental chapter to see what you all think about that. To all my old, loyal readers your thoughts on that would be really good. (Or those that were loyal until I uncerimoniously disappeared into a thick ear!) To any new readers I may acquire, your thoughts and input are just as important and if you think its nonsense please say so, just be nice about it, OK?**

* * *

_Janet's Office, The Infirmary.  
_

_"He __WHAT?"_

_"He found my vibrator."_

* * *

Janet smirked, snorted, then finally burst out laughing.

"Oh I wish I could have seen his face."

"I don't! He told me about it in the car this morning…_after_ we kissed."

"So you kissed? Big deal – no one cares! You guys are the masters at ignoring this stuff."

"I don't know if I'm supposed to be flattered or offended."

"A little of both? Come on Sam, what's the problem? Well, you two probably _do_ get the prize for worst relationship." Janet paused for a moment for dramatic effect. "You know Sam, one or both of you should probably write all of this down one day. When we're all old and retired and living some boring happily ever after life, I'm sure we could all use a few laughs."

"Janet, I'm going to need copious amounts of alcohol before I can so much as _look_ at General O'Neill again."

"God! I can so relate to that!"

"Janet?"

"…Daniel."

"What?! How did I not know about this?!"

"That's what I said! Apparently he's crazy about me. I mean, when did that happen?"

"Oh please, you've been crushing on him for about 2 years now."

"Yeah, but I never expected him to reciprocate! There I was happily wondering along in my own little bubble-world having a one-sided and totally imagined, non-complicated, no-strings-attatched, unrequited, non-existent relationship and to be quite honest I'd kind of gotten used to that – and then he has to go and ask me out to dinner."

"You're basing all this on a dinner date?"

"It was more, 'Janet, I'm crazy about you.' But yeah, he asked me out to dinner."

"And you said…?"

"'I'll see you at seven.'"

"Did he kiss you?"

"A peck on the check. God! Its so cliché."

"Janet, at least you guys are allowed to _have _a relationship."

"I can't believe I kissed him."

You said _he_ kissed _you_."

"Yeah, well… I might have kissed him back. Just a little bit."

"And then…?"

"And then he blushed – which is cute – and he smiled and pushed up his glasses and said he's see me tonight. And then he left the base for Jack's."

* * *

Jack's House

Daniel watched them drive away and closed the door with relief. God, who would have picked Sam as the over-bearing maternal type? He had got on well with Matt and Rachael yesterday and they had seemed like nice kids then – surely they couldn't have turned into monsters overnight! She was being paranoid for nothing, he was sure of it and it didn't matter that Teal'c couldn't be here cause he, Daniel, was a grown adult. In fact he was kind of a step-father himself although Oma seemed to have done most of the work on that one. Still, it was a sort of a precedent. First though was coffee, and since the kids were in the kitchen already he could watch them at the same time. This was easy. He could do this. As soon as he got caffeined up would be good to go.

"Good morning Rachael, good morning Matt."

"Good morning Daniel."

"Good morning Daniel."

The replied politely, only looking up briefly from their breakfast.

"Any left?"

"Sure. Want me to put some toast on?"

Daniel looked at Matt in surprise. Yep, he still looked like a teenager.

"Well if you're offering…"

"Anytime." Matt smiled politely and got up to make toast and set a place for Daniel to join them. Rachael, having finished her fruit loops, decided it was time to add her opinion.

"You haven't had breakfast yet, have you? Its bad not to have breakfast, Uncle Danny." Getting scolded by a nine year old? Lord help him!

"I know but I was kind of in a hurry this morning. I slept in."

Daniel started pottering about the kitchen.

"Are you making coffee Uncle Danny? Cause mum says too much coffee isn't good for you."

"I know that, I'm just tired."

"Dad always puts on coffee when he hasn't had enough sleep. Mum gets annoyed sometimes but I think that's really cause she doesn't like it that he works so much."

"Well, I did sort of work late last night."

"Is that's why Aunt Sam and Jack aren't together, right? Cause they both work so much?"

"Uh, well…"

"Rachael! You can't just ask that! He might tell them!!"

"No, its ok. I guess none of us on base has much of a social life.

Jack sat back in his chair as Walter finally left and closed the door. If he had anything to do with anything today he would be shutting himself up in here and working furiously on those new off-world tactical training exercises he'd been putting off.

ring

No. Absolutely not.

ring

Jack picked up the red phone – very reluctantly.

"JACK! How are you?"

"Hello, Mister President."

"Everything ok?"

"Yes, sir. Everything is just great. Siler says the gate should be ready in a couple of days."

"That's good, Jack. Listen, I was thinking since it's a quiet week for you maybe you want to come over and watch the ice hockey."

"Mister President-"

"There'd be beer! Come on Jack, I'll send you my helicopter. You'll love it."

"Actually sir, I'm a bit busy this week."

"I suppose I _could _come to Colorado. I don't think my security team would like it but I'm sure I could wrangle them into letting me come visit. Then again, my schedule is pretty tight."

"Sir-"

"Why don't I call you tomorrow after I've talked to the Secret Service."

"President Hayes-"

"Don't worry, Jack. I'll buy the beer. I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"Yes, sir."

'Great', though Jack, 'This day just keeps getting better and better.'

* * *

_Author's Note: Whether I try to finish this or not is mostly up to whether people want me to or not. I know I'm completely, hopelessly unreliable but I will make an effort if people want me to._  



	13. plans

_Author's Note: Wow! Thanks for all the reviews guys! The general opinion seems to be that people want me to finish this so I will do my best. Don't count on a new chapter every day (i cannot stress this enough) but its the holidays so i'm posting this as a special thankyou to everyone for being so enthusiastic and nice and all that stuff._

* * *

Teal'c

After Daniel had returned home last night Teal'c had retired to his quarters on base. Looking at the clock he decided that it was time to be getting breakfast and made his way to the officer's mess. Unfortunately not one member of his team appeared to be there. Teal'c decided that there was only one thing for it, he would have to go looking for them. First he tried the infirmary where he found Doctor Frasier alone.

"Morning Teal'c."

"Good Morning Doctor Frasier. I am looking for O'Neill, Colonel Carter and Daniel Jackson."

"Oh. Well Daniel _was _in earlier but I don't think he was on base very long. He left soon after to babysit Matt and Rachael."

"Indeed?"

"Sorry, Tealc. Colonel Carter should be in her lab if you're looking for her."

Carter's Lab.

"Colonel Carter."

Sam turned round from her lab table with surprise, then grinned when she saw the identity of her visitor. "Oh, hi Teal'c."

"Would you care to join me for Breakfast, Colonel Carter."

"Sorry, Teal'c – I really need to get this new circuit board finished for the dialling computer."

"I believe you should partake of some breakfast Colonel Carter. Most likely you will be working for the rest of the day."

"Thanks Teal'c, really – but I had something at home – I mean at the General's this morning."

"I have just come from speaking with Doctor Frasier."

Sam was stunned in to silence. Doing a good impression of a deer in the headlights of a car, she hoped that Janet hadn't given anything away.

"She informed me that Daniel Jackson was only briefly on base before he left to babysit Matthew Carter and Rachael Carter."

"Yes."

"They are at O'Neill's house."

"Yes."

"You slept there last night." Sam paused, looking straight at Teal'c. His face was unreadable, but Sam was sure she caught a glimpse of something mischievious in his eyes.

"General O'Neill thought my house was too small for visitors – he's given us the use of his house for this week."

"Then did not O'Neill sleep there also?"

Sam looked sideways at Teal'c and smirked.

"No, Teal'c. General O'Neill slept at my house."

"Indeed? Then Jacob Carter-" Teal'c stopped abruptly, realising he had just given himself away.

"Actually Teal'c its funny you should mention my Dad – according to the General he paid my house a visit last night."

"Indeed, Colonel Carter?"

"Indeed, Teal'c." Sam allowed a small smile to creep onto her face. "Its strange though, 'cause Dad wasn't supposed to leave the base. It _is_ sort of funny, don't you think?"

"Indeed, Colonel Carter. Please excuse me, it appears you have much work to do."

Teal'c bowed and leave, Sam watching him until he disappeared. So, Teal'c and Daniel? This _so _deserved payback.

Jack's Office

When Jack heard that distinctive knock on his office door he looked up from the stack of paperwork he was working on.

"Tealc' good to see you but I've eaten already. Carter left her car on base so I swung by to pick her up this morning and grabbed breakfast with the kids. Maybe Jacob will eat with you."

Jack went back to his paperwork, but after a few moments started to sense the uncomfortable prickly sensation of someone staring at him. Teal'c hadn't left as Jack had expected him to but was standing in the doorway staring at him.

"Was there something?"

"Indeed."

"Care to share?"

"No."

Teal'c just stood there staring.

"Would you quit that?!"

"No."

"Teal'c I'm warning you…"

"I could easily strike down any airman who attempts to remove me from your office."

Jack sighed and put down his pen.

"OK, what have I done this time?"

"What is the status of your relationship with Colonel Carter."

"Excuse me?!"

"I asked you the status of your relationship with Colonel Carter."

"I'm her CO and her friend. You know that Teal'c."

"I merely know that I do not wish to see her hurt, O'Neill. Nor you."

"Meaning?"

"I am concerned that your recent behaviour may lead to something which would be detrimental to the efficient command of this base."

An image flashed through Jack's mind of Carter and himself making out in a storage closet, ignoring Davis' increasingly frantic 'unscheduled offworld activation'.

"Teal'c, if you're that bored go chat to Jacob or rescue Daniel or something. I have work to do." Jack silently swore to himself that he would personally throttle the next person who tried to interrupt him that morning. Even Teal'c was giving him the Nth degree – he really _did _need to talk with Carter.

Jack's House

Daniel, having finished cleaning up the kitchen stood nursing a cup of coffee and looking out the glass doors to Jack's back yard. Matt was in his room, Rachael was watching cartoons and he finally had time to think. He wondered what was going on between Jack and Sam, he wondered if they would be back in time for him to go get ready for his date with Janet now that he'd finally plucked up the courage to ask her out; he wondered what Teal'c and Jacob were up to, whether he should take the kids out, where they could go. In short, he was bored.

Just then, Matt appeared.

"Daniel, can I take out my science kit?"

Now, sense told Daniel that allowing Matt to take out his science kit, especially in light of what had happened last time, was a bad idea. However anyone who knew Daniel knew that he was the sort of guy who would step in front of a gun or run through fire if he had to – sense was not usually his prevailing concern and inevitably, Daniel decided that what Sam and Jack didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"How about we take it into the yard this time – just in case."

Matt grinned at Daniel and ran off. Moments later Matt appeared with a box of assorted science stuff.

"Rachael, you coming?" Matt asked his sister.

"I think I'd rather stay inside."

"We're just outside if you need us." Daniel told her before he headed out back with Matt.

"So Matt, what's all this stuff for then?"

"You see, I'm working on this science project for school. Its all to do with magnets…"

Cheyenne Mountain

When Jacob Carter walked through the door he saw Teal'c sat alone in the officer's mess looking the Jaffa equivalent of dejected. He sat beside a large flask of coffee and a pile of doughnuts so large that Jacob doubted even Teal'c could eat them all by himself.

"Mind if I join you?" Teal'c looked up.

"Jacob Carter. It is good to see you once again."

"Yeah, about that…are you ok?"

"You have been talking to O'Neill."

"Well actually Sam and Jack both came to me separately and asked me to distract you for a while. Sam thought we could maybe go see the kids for a bit – what do you think?"

Teal'c actually grinned. "I will get my coat, Jacob Carter."

_Internal eE-mail_

TO: Lieutenant Colonel S Carter

FROM: Brigadier General J O'Neill

SUBJECT: Lunch

MAIN TEXT: I asked Dad to go distract Teal'c for a bit, hope you don't mind. How about a chat over lunch? I'll drop by your lab 1230h.

_Internal E-mail_

To: Brigadier General J O'Neill

FROM: Lieutenant Colonel S Carter

SUBJECT: Re: Lunch

MAIN TEXT: Lunch sounds good. Carter.

1230h Carter's Lab

"How's it going, Colonel."

"Sir! Is it that time already?"

"Yep."

"Well its nice of you to drop by Sir, but I should really get this finished."

"You're going to eat lunch Carter, cause you've been working on that thing for four hours straight. Now you can come quietly or I can call Doc Frasier down here with several large needles and a feeding tube… or I could just tickle you into submission." Jack added casually.

It was the threat of tickling which finally her to take a break. Sam put down her tools and smiled at Jack. Jack smiled back.

"Come on, grab your coat, we're eating topside."

On Top of Cheyenne Mountain Complex.  


"Wow! I can't get the cooks to keep aside blue jello never mind this!"

"The privileges of rank, Carter." Jack smiled smugly as Sam savoured the scene. It was a beautiful summer's day, not too hot and from where they were standing above the entrance tunnel to the mountain she could see for miles. Not so far off some eagles soared a thermal and for a moment Sam wondered if this was really happening.

"Coffee?" Jack asked from where he had sat himself on the tartan rug. He waited for her nod before continuing to pull sandwiches, puddings and flasks of coffee from a black military rucksack. Sam sat down.

"Tuna or turkey? I have one of each."

"Tuna, sir." He handed her a sandwich. "Uh, sir…what is all this about?"

"Carter, we need to have a chat, the thing is I didn't really want anyone to hear so I thought I'd drag you topside."

"Sir, I know you never use it but if you look carefully there's actually a door attached to your office doorway."

"I know that!" exclaimed. Sam merely raised an eyebrow making the General shake his head - she obviously didn't get it.

"You see this Carter?" Jack said, waving an arm over the blanket, the food and the view. "This takes a very special sort of mental aptitude: its called 'procrastination'."

"Sir, I don't have time for 'procrastination'"

"Why do you think its called 'procrastination'? Besides, we need to talk about getting back at Danny and Teal'c. Now sit down and eat some lunch. That's an order!"

* * *

_Author's Note: I know its not as funny as some of the other chapters but i'm going somewhere with this. (At least, i'm trying to!)_ _Feedback appreciated as always._


	14. picnics and pagers

_Author's Note: I know the last chapter was a bit crap but i did say i was going somewhere with it - i wanted to get far enough down my plot line to write this fluffy number (which i hope will make up for it)._

* * *

"Sir, you didn't drag me all the way up here just to talk about Daniel and Teal'c."

"Yeah, well I'm procrastinating, aren't I? But if we _are_ going to have that conversation you can quit calling me 'sir'."

"Yes, Sir." Sam said cheekily, knowing it would irritate him. She put down her sandwich and lay back, resting her hands behind her head so that her t-shirt rode up to show her waist.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Just catching a little sun."

"Catching some sun?" Jack muttered, eyeing Carter's waist. Reluctantly lay down beside her, careful to be just far enough away so that they weren't touching. "Care to tell me _why _we're doing this?"

"I find it easier to talk about this if I can't actually see your face."

"What's wrong with my face?!"

"It's more your eyes. Every time we try to talk you give me this intense look, like you're miles away and you've forgotten about the whole world except me. When you look at me like that it makes me forget what I want to say." Sam admitted, making Jack smiled. He liked that. They were silent for a while as they stared up at the clouds.

"That one looks like a serpent guard." Sam mentioned, pointing at a cloud passing above them.

"And _that _one looks like that submarine that Danny broke."

"It was the 'water' that broke it, not Danny."

"Well he _would _say that. He's always breaking things."

"General, I _know _it was you and not Daniel that dropped that Ancient artefact last week."

"How, exactly?"

"Cause you're the only one with the authority to confiscate the security tape."

"Maybe I didn't want Daniel to get in trouble."

"_Maybe you didn't want Daniel to get in trouble_?!"

"That sounded better in my head."

They continued cloud watching for a while.

"You know how I always stop you when you start babbling about sciencey stuff? Its not cause I don't want to hear it. Its cause you get all starry eyed and excited and I can't help staring cause it makes your eyes sparkle with intelligence, which firstly is actually quite intimidating and secondly makes me forget what I'm actually supposed to be doing which is usually something important like killing a goa'uld or saving a planet or something."

Jack paused, waiting for a reply, listening to their breathing when his pager went off.

"Like now?" Sam asked.

"Yes, Carter. Like now." And without looking back, Jack got up and walked away, the earlier storage-closet image again flitting through his head.

Sam sighed as she watched him go.

It was only a short time later when Sam's pager went off. She was, inevitably, needed in the control room. Sam grabbed a sandwich to eat on the way down and figured the General would get this all cleared up. They still hadn't really had that talk they'd been avoiding all day and Sam realised that they really needed to get it over with before they went home tonight. She had just finished that thought when she arrived at the control room. The place was almost deserted, a few remaining technicians intently watched the gate room, deserted except for Jack O'Neill by the left hand wall...making out with the Tok'ra Anise, the couple backlit by the incoming wormhole. What was more, and what irritated Sam, was that Jack was clearly making the most of it. Davis immediately appeared at Sam's shoulder.

"Anise came through looking for Jacob. She thought he might be here and wanted him to look at a device they'd found. They believe its some sort of emotional amplifier, she thought since Jacob was so attached to the Tau'ri he might be willing to test it while he was here…we didn't realise the effect would be so…immediate."

"The General?"

"I believe Anise made a move on the General first, Colonel. He just doesn't seem to be doing much about it. We hoped since you and the General are…close…you might be willing to sort it out, if you get my meaning."

"Oh, I'll sort her out all right."

For the first time in a long time, Davis wondered if perhaps Colonel Carter had had a bad idea. The device might be an 'emotional amplifier' but far from love, Carter's present major emotion seemed to be jealousy. He wondered, too late, if perhaps this was a bad idea.

The first thing Jack noticed was that he was no longer being kissed.

The second thing he noticed was the woman who had been kissing him was now unconscious on the floor.

The third thing he noticed was the pain in his jaw. Man, that was one mean slap.

"What the hell are you doing, Carter."

"What the hell am _I _doing? What the hell are _you _doing Jack? I pour my heart out to you and you start seducing some other woman? Is that all I am to you?"

"Carter, you spend so much time on science you barely _have_ a heart. And in case you hadn't noticed the 'woman' you're talking about is KO on the floor!"

"You're biased! I knew it! Allying with a tok'ra like that is like having Hathor here all over again. You're putting this entire base at risk! What's next? Sex in the storage closet while the goa'uld invade?!"

Jack made his move, backing Carter up against the gateroom wall.

"I'm game if you are."

Before Jack knew what had happened he felt his head connect with concrete. When he opened his eyes Carter was already walking away.

"DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME, CARTER!!"

She immediately spun round.

"What? You actually believe all that stuff you told me earlier? 'intimidating' and 'intelligent'? Well I get it now, Jack: all that bullshit about 'look's you were giving me earlier is just another guy trying to get into my pants. Or maybe you're just scared at the idea of having to care about someone else more than your own ego. Well you can go to hell Jack O'Neill. Go after some other woman's pants, cause you and I are finished." Like hope being vanquished from Jack's heart, the wormhole disengaged as Sam yelled her final insult. A heavy silence prevailed as the last echoes of her shouts dissipated. The only sound was that of Carter's boots as they stormed across the gateroom floor.

Jack looked down dejectedly, all anger gone.

"You said before that I gave you this intense look sometimes, like I'm miles away and I've forgotten about the whole world except you." The footfalls stopped. Sam turned around. "Well the truth is I don't forget about the whole world – to me you _are _the whole world. I forget about everything else." Slowly, Sam started moving towards him. "I forget that there are six billion other people out there who all have someone _they_ think is _their_ whole world; I forget that its my job to care about _them_ too. I'm not scared by the idea of a relationship, I'm scared by the fact that when I look into your eyes I realise that I care about you so much that I don't care about them, none of them, I only care about you. That's what scares me."

The control room watched with bated breath as Jack stopped talking. They watched as Colonel Carter stopped in front of him and laid a light finger under his chin, bringing his gaze up to meet her own. When after a long time of staring she finally spoke her voice was soft.

"You know that look you were talking about?"

"…Yeah."

"You're doing it again." And suddenly Jack felt Sam's lips on his and the rest of the world disappeared: all that existed was him and her.

Davis, looking on in astonishment, pressed the button for the blast doors to go down. He did not need the whole base to see this – best give them a bit of privacy. The problem was how to deal with it. He looked that the technician standing next to him.

"Maybe we should call Teal'c?"

* * *

_Author's Note: Better?_


	15. cheese

_Author's Note: For some reason the website wouldn't let me update for ages. Don't know why, but its finally working so here's the next bit:_

* * *

Teal'c and Jacob walked out of the elevator together and walked towards the SGC car park. 

"So, I take it this trip's legit?"

"Indeed. O'Neill believed it may be necessary to assist Daniel Jackson with the care of Matthew and Rachael Carter."

"That bored, huh?"

"While the gate is not functioning there is little for me to do here and I have no means of visiting my family and friends off world."

"You got a car round here somewhere?"

Teal'c stopped beside an almost-new Honda.

"Nice! Mind if I take her for a spin?"

"I believe it would be safest if I were to drive, Jacob Carter. If we were to be stopped by an officer of the highway patrol they may ask you some awkward questions."

"I don't _always _speed, Teal'c. I'm sure Sam was exaggerating."

"She has mentioned several times that all your life you have been frequently late and as a result you have formed many habits where you involuntarily forgo safest driving practice."

Jacob sighed and relented. It was not worth his while arguing, but a large part of him had a problem with being accused of bad driving by a _jaffa_…especially when his Tok'ra symbiote silently sided with the opposition. He tried to push away the bad mood he felt taking over him by concentrating on the hope of seeing his grandchildren. Stuck on Earth he might be, but he was going to make the most of it. He got into the passenger seat of the car.

"Please fasten your seatbelt Jacob Carter."

Reluctantly, he fastened his seat belt – although the human part of him hardly felt it was necessary given the snail's pace that Teal'c insisted on driving at. Besides, Jacob thought, he and Semlac drove ships at hyper speed all the time and they had never needed a seatbelt then. Selmac however insisted on pointing out to him that in space there were no ships driving at hyperspeed right beside you in the opposite direction, and if there were you would probably go straight through them, literally. Jacob ignored him.

"Can't you speed it up a bit, big guy."

"I am driving within the speed limit."

Jacob sighed.

"So, how's Sam been. I haven't seen her much."

"She is well."

Jacob looked out the window to think. There must be something they could talk about.

"Daniel said something about a new Star Wars Movie?"

* * *

Meanwhile at Jack's House...

"Cheese? You're kidding me!" Daniel asked Matt.

Rachael stuck her head round the kitchen doorway. Daniel and Matt hadn't quite made it out into the garden, but the two of them were firmly stuck in their own little science world. She figured it was pretty safe to do what she liked.

Meanwhile in the kitchen Matt continued his explanation.

"The clever bit is that microwaves and light waves travel at the same speed cause they're both on the same spectrum so if you can work out the speed of microwaves using a microwave oven you're also calculating the speed of light."

"But _cheese_?"

"I'll have to take the oven apart a bit, but I'm sure Mister Jack won't mind. What you do is you take out the glass plate and you unscrew the bit on the bottom that makes the glass plate spin – when you put food in a microwave the food cooks where the radiation is most concentrated, that is where the waves cross. When the food moves round it cooks all over but if you take out this bit it doesn't. Now lay the slices of cheese across the plate in a line of diameter and put the plate back in the oven and switch it on. Now that the cheese is stationary it will only cook at the two points where the microwaves cross." After a while a smell of cooking cheese started to emerge from the microwave. "See?" Matt said, opening the door. "The cheese is cooked here and here. If we measure the distance between these two points and note the time it took for the cheese to cook we can put it into an equation."

"Velocity equals distance over time!" Daniel exclaimed

Matt grinned at him and started to scribble.

"I did listen in some of my science classes – I didn't spend the whole time dreaming about Egypt…just most of it." Daniel said, waiting for Matt to finish his calculations.

"There!" Matt stood back, black lines underlining the equation answer. See? The speed of the microwaves which is also-"

"The speed of light! Wow!"

"Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah. Got any more."

Matt grinned again.

"Definitely. Ever built a radio before? Then I'll show you this really cool thing with custard powder!"

Rachael crept away from the kitchen to the phone in the hall. She picked it up and made her way to Matt's room. Her room was ok but she preferred Matt's room – it was more homely, like it was really a kid's room. The thing that bothered Rachael was why there was that if Jack really had a son like Matt had told her he did, why didn't Jack's son live with him? Nevermind – at the moment it was just a good place to call her mom from. Having grabbed the phone in the hall she dialled the number of her mom's mobile phone and waited for her to answer.

"Hello?"

"Mom! Its Rachael!"

"Hey Rach, how are you today? Sorry I haven't called."

"That's ok mom. I miss you but I know grandpa's not very well."

"Yeah. I miss you too. Grandpa said to say 'hello' and that you'd probably grown a good three inches since he saw you last."

"Really?"

"That's what he said. So, how is Colorado? Are you having fun staying with Aunt Sam?"

"She works a lot, Mom. And actually we're not staying with Aunt Sam…well we are, but we're not staying at Aunt Sam's _house _we're staying with Aunt Sam at Mister Jack's house cause Mister Jack said Aunt Sam's house was too small but cause we're all here there's no room for Mister Jack so Mister Jack is staying at Aunt Sam's house."

"Who is 'Mister Jack' pumpkin?"

"Don't call me 'pumpkin' mom. My name is Rachael!"

"Sorry sweetie."

"Mom! What if someone heard?!"

Rachael heard her mom laugh and frowned.

"So, Mister Jack?" Her mom asked again.

"Mister Jack's real name is General O'Neill but he won't let us call him that. He is Aunt Sam's boss – the one Grandpa Jacob talks about."

"So you're calling from his house?"

"Yeah."

"Can I talk to him?"

"He's at work. His friend Daniel is looking after us. 'Doctor Daniel Jackson' – he's an Archie Logogist."

"A what?!"

"An Archie Logogist!"

"I think you mean 'archaeologist' dear."

"Well that's what he _says _but I don't believe him. He says its all about old stuff but Uncle Daniel isn't old at all..."

* * *

(Back with Teal'c and Jacob)

"..And so Anakin Skywalker becomes obsessed with the dark side of The Force."

A ringing noise interrupted Teal'c's tirade, creating a welcome interruption for Jacob.

"Please excuse me Jacob Carter." Teal'c put on his hands free headset and answered his cell phone. "Hello."

"Teal'c, its Davis. We need you here…urgently."

"It cannot wait?"

"I'd say not."

"Can General O'Neill and Colonel Carter not provide assistance?"

"Actually they're a bit…busy….right now. 'Incapacitated.'"

Teal'c thought he heard a vague giggling noise.

"I will be there presently."

"And sir? Its probably best if you don't bring General Carter down here with you."

Teal'c hung up.

"What's he saying, Teal'c?" Jacob asked.

"We must return to base."

"But we're only ten minutes from Jack's house!"

"They have requested my assistance and I must give it."

"Has something happened?"

"I do not know. We must wait and see."

Davis put down the red phone and wandered out of the general's office through the briefing room to the window overlooking the gate room. General O'Neill and Colonel Carter were currently rolling on the floor, crying with laughter muttering something about 'sticky tape' and 'beer' and 'Daniel's glasses'. The sooner Teal'c got here the better.

* * *

_Author's Note: All reviews are very much appreciated, even if i'm mean and don't reply, and for those of you who are interested the cheese thing i learnt in my high school science class.  
_


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